Signe's Blog

What's New? January 2011

2011-01-14T11:47:00.000+01:00

Well, health could be better. I hope I'll get to take another bloodtest soon. I'm finding it hard to go outdoors as I'm extremely sensitive to cold.

In some lighter news...

My official firsts of the year:

First outfit of the year - Bright pink t-shirt with candies forming a skull + Checkered white-yellow skirt. Totally cute outfit I wore at the stroke of midnight!

First drink of the year - Soda water + Apple/Strawberry/Cardemum juice. That's what I had my New Year toast with. Not an actual toast, like bread... The "Happy New Year!" toast.

First game of the year - Word games. Me and my mom were playing scrabble just before midnight and after midnight I made anagrams. I'm a party animal.

First read of the year - Ghost stories

First sleep of the year - Fully dressed in the living room couch, with my cat. Actually, that's more or less how I usually sleep.

First dream of the year - I dreamt I was jealous because my little sister got more attention than I. She got better toys and had more friends and I got angry.

First log in of the year - Skype

First eat of the year - My medicine. My breakfast tends to consist of my medicine and a glass of juice. Yeah yeah I know.

First actual meal of the year - Rice porridge with cinnamon and lingonberry jam. That was my lunch on the first of January.

Seeya!

Moxie Girlz Love Dressing Up Warm And Cozy To Play In The Snow!

2010-12-12T18:47:00.000+01:00

Now in Christmas times, there are especially many toy commercials on TV and I noticed this specific commercial - Moxie Girlz are now dressed for fun in the snow and they, I quote, "Love dressing up warm and cozy". Ah, what a great idea, a doll with proper winter clothes, so kids will know that it's cool to dress warm and comfortable in the winter, so we don't get sick from the severe cold!

No? Oh, it's just a doll in a cool hat, no earmuffs, no scarf, a sweater and a funky jacket, hotpants, transparent glitter tights and a pair of trendy boots. No gloves though, but I guess gloves aren't fashionable. Although I'm sure her sassy make-up and long dangling earrings will keep her warm and safe as she plays in the dangerously freezing weather! That's always something.

A quote from an earlier blog entry of mine, from about a year ago:

Well, Sweden sure is cold! Today was something between -15 and -6 Celcius locally. Going out, I wore

One tanktop
One longsleeved top
Another longsleeved top
One t-shirt
One knit sweater
One hoodie sweater
One pair of panties
Another pair of panties
One pair of tights that cover feet
Another pair of tights that cover feet
One pair of pants
Another pair of pants
A pair of socks
A long coat
One pair of extra thick snow pants
A knit cap
A scarf
Thick gloves
One pair of boots

So I was only somewhat cold

But hey, what do I know? I'm only a real human of flesh and blood. Perhaps it's more important to be trendy than to avoid getting seriously injured due to cold temperatures.

Voting Day Disappointment

2010-09-19T14:40:00.000+02:00

Well, I am disappointed. I voted today, but sadly unprepared. I researched the best I could to decide who to vote for. But to vote as specifically as possible, you shouldn't just vote for the party you like, but for the politician you like. It's really not fair - There's nowhere you can see how the voting tickets look beforehand. There are three tickets, one for parliament, one for county council and one for municipal assembly. I had decided to vote for the Green Party. Green Party for parliament, Green Party for county council and Green Party for municipal assembly. Preferably, I would have voted for specific people in all three elections, but it was IMPOSSIBLE to find any information on the candidates for Stockholm County or Järfälla Municipality, but on the Green Party's website, there is luckily a list of candidates for parliament, it is clearly titled, "Candidates for Parliament". I looked through the list and found some that I liked. Cheryl Jones Fur, Helena Leander, Jan Lindholm... So I figured, I can't vote for a specific person for county or municipality, because I can't find a single bit of information on them, but at least I can vote for a specific person for parliament. So, standing there in the voting booth, I looked through the Green Party parliament ticket, read all the names, one by one, went through the list once, twice, three or maybe four times. Cheryl Jones Fur wasn't on the list. What about Helena Leander? Nope. Surely, Jan Lindholm? Didn't seem to find him either. I had to give a party vote in the parliament election too, because none of the candidates I had read about were on the ticket! It was the right ticket and all, the Green Party ticket, for parliament, with a bunch of national Green Party politicians, but none of the ones that I had decided I liked. I feel kind of cheated, there is no way to read up on the candidates before you vote, not for county or municipal, just for parliament and well, of the people listed as parliament candidates on their website, only three quarters of them were on the voting bill. I am mildly angry right now and just hope that in the future, it will be easier to find out a little more about who you can vote for before it's voting time.

Signe The Corpse

2010-08-19T16:40:00.000+02:00

I made this pic after reading about decomposition. Pretty good huh? Yeah, I'm a bit morbid. You can read about decomposition too on the wonderful Anomalies Unlimited!

Link --> Anomalies Unlimited
Link --> Anomalies Unlimited - The 26 Stages of Death

The Funny Truth

2010-08-17T20:15:00.000+02:00

"My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world."

- George Bernard Shaw

Blue Lightning and Invertebrate Friends

2010-08-08T17:37:00.000+02:00

Last night was an interesting night... We had thunder with blue lightning. A huge network of lightning flashes going upwards. Yep, jet lightning, going upwards. It was pretty scary, but a beautiful sight. My parents told me of times they had seen ball lightning and even bouncing ball lightning - Scary stuff. I'm not sure if that actually comes from thunder though or if it is more like... Glowing... Ion or whatever. I'm no expert on this. Like ehm... Ions... That are like ehm... Released from the Earth? Or was that Iodine? Nah, Iodine is what they put in salt. Gaarh. Well, isn't it ions that are apparently released at earthquakes? So it comes from the ground? Dang it I really don't know this stuff.

Anyway, I tried the tricky art of lightning photography, but I didn't catch any lightnings. Well, actually, I did photograph some lightning flashes, but the visible bolts only seemed to appear when I put my camera down for a change. Just like snakes seem to appear in the forest everytime I don't bring my camera, Anyway, after a while, I decided to turn on a flash light and read aloud to my parents. I read aloud to them sometimes and well, I don't know if it's true that you should turn off all electrical appliances and pull out the cabels when there's a thunder, but we tend to do that just in case.

Anyway, so I read a chapter of The Count of Montecristo before we decided it was night-night time. A cute little moth came to join me, flying around the flash light and sometimes resting on me or on the flashlight. Then a little later, a nice daddy long legs spider came crawling up my hair to my face. It stayed with me for like fifteen minutes, crawling on my hands and arms. Then after a while it decided to walk behind the couch and who am I to stop it? With the moth flewn away and the spider crawled away, it was kind of lonely and boring on the couch downstairs, so I went to my room and lay in my bed. I called for the cat to come and sleep with me, but she didn't come, so I took my dolls to bed instead. About two minutes later, the cat did come into my room to sleep with me, so me and the cat slept next to each other, while the dolls could rest next to us in bed. Yes, I have dolls.

Shrimp, Birds and Stones

2010-06-29T10:38:00.001+02:00

Yesterday, me and my mother went to the lake in the nature sanctuary. I stayed in the water for two hours. I made a lot of friends. The best one was the shrimp, which stayed in my hand and let me feed it. It stayed with me for about a half hour. It would follow me around and eat plankton off dead plants which were floating around in the water.

I also cleaned up the lake to help my other friends, the clams. You see, there are clams on the bottom of the lake, but when people walk in the water, they might crush the clams. So I searched the bottom of the lake and picked up the clams and put them in the reeds instead, because no one ever walks in the reeds. I also made friends with a fish, whom I am pretty sure was a baby pike.

Oh and I did something brave! Me and my mother swam out to the white waterlilies. I love white waterlilies, but I'm a little bit afraid of swimming among waterlilies, as their stealks and pads tend to scarily brush your leg! But it's less scary when you're swimming with your mom and she says she's not afraid of waterlilies at all. I'm not really afraid of them either, I just have this instinct from my childhood, that it's scary to swim where things brush your legs.

There was this cool bird circling the lake. I remember how it looked. It was pretty big. It was brown on its back and white on its underside. It had some dark spots on the underside of its wings and a thick dark line near the wingtip, on the underside, but not exactly at the wingtip. I cannot exactly recall if its belly was just white or if it was spotted. The bird kept diving down to fish, I guess.

After I was done swimming, I got dressed and started walking home. I stopped a lot along the way to try and identify some flowers, but I found out there are a lot of flower species that are basically identical, so it was pretty difficult. I guess it doesn't matter so much to know exactly what variation of the flower it is, but I do like to try and find an identity for them! Which, by the way, I still haven't managed to do, concerning the bird!

When I got home, I tried to photograph an apple. Should be an easy task for a photographer, but it was so hard to really show the beautiful color of the apple. It was pale yellow, with burgundy brown-red uneven stripes on it. It was so beautiful. I think someone ended up eating it or baking a pie with it or something, but I don't know who got the honor of eating that beautiful apple.

Today, I went out to get an acorn for a magic spell, but then I noticed there really aren't any acorns around, must be the wrong season for acorns I guess. My fat cat Tifa followed me. I saw another cat, which looked a lot like another cat I know, so I figured they must be siblings or something. I cuddled and played with that cat, but my cat got kinda jealous, I think.

There were no acorns, but there were little tiny trees spurting up everywhere, those tiny tiny ones that are like maybe 4 inches - a foot, more or less. The little baby trees that usually get cut off by the lawnmower before they get to be big trees. I figured I could dig up one of the smallest ones and plant it at home. I tried, but it was hard to dig with my nails in the ground. There were so many roots everywhere, I didn't want to damage them.

I couldn't get the little tree up that I tried, but instead I could get two other little trees up. Unfortunately, on one tree I didn't get the root, but on one, luckily, I got a small part of the root, so I put it in a little bottle of water in my room. I will see if it grows! I considered giving it a name, maybe like Ayodele or something nice like that, but then I decided that just calling it "the tree" or "baby" would suffice.

I still needed an acorn, so I asked my mother for the plastic bag in which my stones and pine cones are. Then I found she had made the idiotic move of pouring them out in the garden and over the pet cemetery! Stupid! I said I hadn't properly gone through the stones yet, to decide which ones go indoors and which ones go outdoors. I just hope she's not gonna go as dumb as her father.

My mom said she had forgotten that and figured the stones were safe in the pet cemetery, but the thing is, children walk by there and can take my lovely little stones! My mom said she felt so sorry she could throw up. She said she wanted to give me a stone, to make up for her mistake. She said it was black and white and oval.

She couldn't find it and said that maybe she had already given it to me earlier, so I took out my gem box and asked, "was it a gem?" and she said "no, it was just a beautiful pebble." And so I said it was probably in the garden or at the pet cemetery, as I had put all my non-gem stones in that bag which she had poured out all over the land.

And so she plucked up my stones, washed them and let me go through them all. Most of my precious babies, I told my mom to put in the garden. Some tiny ones, I put in a glass jar. The pine cones, I think, can be put anywhere in nature, they tend to rot anyway. There are still a few little stones which I am not sure where they are. My tiny flint stones and the cute black one my sister gave me. Maybe they're still in my room somewhere, at least the flintstones might be.

And now my mom says she wants me to have a piece of her jewelry instead. I said "I already have all your antique jewelry in my room", but she's like "But I want to give you a piece of jewelry". You see, my mom lets me keep my favorites of her jewelry in my room. I especially like the oldest ones and the ones with precious stones.

I Have The Loveliest Friends

2010-06-18T20:18:00.000+02:00

Today I went out to look for my friend Cleo. He's outdoors most of the time and always affectionate. I don't know the people who own him, I've never even seen them, but I know him and I know where he lives. First I looked around where I usually find him, but he wasn't there. Then I looked into his garden and there he lay resting. I called for him a little, "Cleo, come here, kitty!" and after a while he ran up to the fence and climbed up and I lifted him out.

We sometimes sat on a rock together and sometimes on the ground. Sometimes I carried him around in my arms and sometimes I just sat and looked at him, while he rolled around in the grass. He is a big, white cat with beautiful soft fur and a little pink nose. He is mostly nice, but sometimes he starts biting me, but he's easy to fend off, it's as simple as to put him down on the ground or walk two steps away from him and he gets that you're not in the mood for cat wrestling. Then he's cuddly and affectionate again.

Suddenly, I saw a beautiful, smiling face in a window. My little friend was waving at me and I waved back. I told her I was just out playing with the white cat and she suggested we play tomorrow. I said maybe, if we're both outdoors and not busy. It was her bedtime and I said maybe she should go to bed. She asked if I wasn't going home, but I said I might stay out and play with the cat a while.

She's only four but she asks the wisest questions. "Why are you playing?", "I like playing with this cat." "Why are you playing with the cat?", "He's a nice cat." I said goodnight to my friend and we waved again. I lifted up the cat and I made him wave a little too. He's a pretty calm cat, so he doesn't really mind if you make him wave a little.

June, So Far

2010-06-04T13:05:00.002+02:00

On the first of June, me and my mom spent some time in the garden. She was blowing bubbles, when I decided to play with water balloons. At first, I just threw them up in the air and caught them, but then I started to on purpose let them fall on my head, splashing me. One balloon was leaking, so I held it over my head and pretended like it was a shower - It was actually a pretty good shower. Then my mom said that maybe I could shower in the garden and I thought that was a great idea. I put on my bathing suit and I played with some more water balloons. Then I rubbed my skin in with my soap and my hair in with my shampoo. Then my mother poured a big bucket of warm water over me. Then another bucket. It was actually really nice. Temperature was just perfect!

On the second of June, my mom told me "There's a toad living under the garden steps." I lifted out all the bags of soil and whatnot and looked under the steps. When I saw the toad, I put my arm in there and pulled it out. Sure enough, a male toad, dry and covered in spider web, but in perfect health. We couldn't let the toad live in our garden, because the cats might chase it. I at first suggested that I just release it in the forest, but then I remembered that lots of people walk their dogs there. Besides, there aren't any lakes or water streams near our village, so it's only wet enough when it rains. I suggested we take the toad to the nature sanctuary and my mother agreed. The nature sanctuary is a great place for toads and it's actually a very popular place for toads, they usually hatch there. Perhaps this toad was hatched there and wanted to find a new place - But, wherever it was from and wherever it was going, the best place for a toad to be is the nature sanctuary and surely not our backyard. Since all the family members with a driver's licence are in America at the moment, we had to walk to the nature sanctuary. My mom prepared the portable terrarium after my instructions. Terrarium bark at the bottom, sprayed with water and a water bowl with shallow water. I decided to name the toad Lars-Arne and I put him in the terrarium and off we went. My mom packed my bathing suit just in case I would want to have my first swim of the year. It was a long walk, but when we were finally in the nature sanctuary, it was yet another long walk, because I wanted to find just the right spot to release the toad. When we finally got up to the pond, where I'd seen tadpoles some years ago, I went a little bit into the forest, crouched down on the mud and held my hand out. The toad carefully skipped away and lay itself in the shade of a log on the mud. I had, of course, been really careful with the toad while carrying it in the terrarium and the toad was in perfect health and lively as ever when I released it. Then we went to the rocks, where we usually swim. I put on my bathing suit and got in the water. I probably spent twenty minutes in there!

The third of June, we went to the nature sanctuary again. This time we visited the place opposite the rocks, on the other side of the lake. It's kind of rocky, but you can walk in, there are reeds and waterlilies there and lots of bugs and fish and sometimes some sea birds. I saw a small snake, however when it saw me, it got a bit scared and started swimming in the other direction. It actually dove and swam along the bottom! It was a newly hatched garter snake with lovely yellow markings. Me and my mom were bathing for quite a while, the water was so warm. After a while we got out of the water and got dressed. I went into the cow pasture for a while, but the cows seemed a bit shy. I tried holding grass in my hands and slowly approaching them. One cow with huge horns actually slowly walked up to me - It was a little bit scary, I prefer the ones without horns. It just licked the grass in my hands once (It was long grass, it didn't lick my hands) and then it just forgot about it and started shaking flies away. Some of the cows went knee-deep into the lake to drink water. It was quite a pretty sight!

I wonder what I'm gonna do today.

Panksoppa

2010-05-31T00:19:00.001+02:00

As you might know, children are superior when it comes to creating new words. In Sweden it's tradition to eat pea soup and then pancakes on Thursdays. Now it was a Sunday and we had vegetable soup and then pancakes. Either way, it's still pancakes and soup. In Swedish that would be "Pannkakor och soppa", which my two year old cousin conveniently referred to as "panksoppa".

But I didn't just learn a new word today. We did a lot of fun things! We went to the local playground to play on the swings, the seesaw, the slides and the monkey bars. When we were at home, we played with bubbles and we also drew a lot. Majken found out what happens if you don't hold the bubble bottle straight. You get bubble water all over your clothes and have to change! Luckily, it was the really sunny kind of day when getting water all over your clothes doesn't really bother you too much. It was all smiles either way!

Olga learned to play the keyboard a little. Not even five years old and she still could learn some simple songs! Yes, maybe she's not a wonderchild, but I still think it's pretty talented. There are plenty of grownups who can't even learn! I know it takes some time for me to learn a decent lenght keyboard song and then I might only remember it for a few weeks if I don't play it!

I know you don't need money to entertain a child, but it helps. When the girls want to draw I provide them with a pile of paper and a handful of various pens. A few hours later, about ten sheets of paper are doodled on, even though only three have proper drawings on them, my colored glue is empty and my pens are dry. Oh well. See, this is what I meant with the money thing. This doesn't really bother me as I can just buy more paper and pens anytime, a poor family might not afford this luxury.

Sure, I could be all economical and environmental and whatnot and teach them how to draw carefully and use both sides of the paper... But, why ruin their fun? And my rest. Children are quite intense, even if you're four people watching them! Even if you don't meddle in their play it's quite intense! Gotta love 'em. Peace and Love!

Signe Robertson's Random Piece of Advice Number Fourteen

2010-05-29T14:48:00.000+02:00

Keep in touch with old friends. Try to value people's well-being, even if you don't agree with their lifestyle or beliefs. Try to be nice and forgiving as much as you can, but don't let anyone walk over you, always defend your rights.

Signe Robertson's Random Piece of Advice Number Thirteen

2010-05-28T12:56:00.000+02:00

Don't commit adultery or murder.

Signe Robertson's Random Piece of Advice Number Twelve

2010-05-26T13:06:00.000+02:00

Perhaps there are a lot of people who make you happy with their presence, but only a few who can make you truly miserable with their absence.

Signe Robertson's Random Piece of Advice Number Eleven

2010-05-23T21:59:00.001+02:00

Do your best to help other people, animals, the environment and above all - The people you love.

Newest Purchases

2010-05-22T20:22:00.002+02:00

Now I'm gonna do what all the girly completely ridiculous bloggers that aren't me do and blog my newest purchases. I know. How ridiculous and girly. But I felt like it OK! I'm in the mood for something cute. As I was one and a half week ago, when I decided to go shopping. "I'm suddenly in the mood for cheap plastic jewelry", I said, after being quite obsessed with antique jewelry for a while. I have such extreme tastes. It gotta be the darkest or the sweetest, the oldest or something new and simple. Oh well. Just nothing boring please.

I bought:

Ten pack of pink hairbands

Glowy frog pen that glows red when you write

Awesome pink shoes

Plastic necklace with chubby star beads

Pink "Robot Love" hoodie

Two-pack of awesome panties (Actually my mom paid for those, like a gift)

Here's a rather awful photo that my dad quickly took of me showing off my new outfit. Well, the pants aren't new. I think they're my sisters.

A close-up of the hoodie and necklace. And yes I know, it looks like a MySpace boobshot.

This frog lives on my pen. It glows when you write.

Also, I know, it isn't ladylike to photograph your underwear (unless it's a very classy underwear photo), but I just had to give you a little peek of the adorable patterns on these panties! One pair is light yellow with birdies, flowers, butterflies and hearts, the other pair is bright blue with owls, crowns and flowers. So cute!

Here are my shoes. When I saw them at the store I was like "Aren't these cool?" and my mom was like "I don't know if they're cool, they look more like ordinary shoes" (knowing I only like special things and hate ordinary stuff) and I was like "Nooooo, these are awesome because they're bright pink. 'Ordinary' would be to buy ones in white or something."

By the Way

2010-05-13T22:42:00.000+02:00

I know it's bad manners to make a blog entry about something else, before I mention that me and Aidan have been back together since April. I was just really eager to blog about the ferret case and I haven't been blogging in a while. So that's how it is. Aidan is mine again. Since my birthday actually. And Stuart... I have no idea what's going on with him, but I'm not his anymore.

Ferret

2010-05-12T00:14:00.003+02:00

I read the local newspaper today and I stumbled upon a sad article about something that had happened recently to someone in my community. Here's the story: Someone was walking his dog in the park, someone else walked his ferret in the park. The dog killed the ferret. The dog owner isn't charged with any crime.

Why? The police said "This isn't a crime as a ferret isn't a person, it's a thing." This really upset me. For one thing, anything you say about others applies to yourself as well, so saying "they aren't people because they're not like me", equals "I'm not a person because I'm not like them". If you say someone isn't a person, don't make excuses when you get the same accusation.

The second thing is that, although you cannot keep animals in the wild from killing each other, animals that live with humans, in a way, are human. They are not wild animals in the forest, they are our beloved, protected family members that we try our best to keep safe.

Also, we have the responsibility that our animals don't hurt anyone. So, if by your negligence, your dog causes harm, you are the one guilty of a crime. In conclusion, if, by your negligence, a dog that you keep as company, kills a ferret that someone keeps as company, you are responsible for a death.

Besides, even if your dog only ruined a "thing", as opposed to killing a person, it would still be a crime. Destruction of property, you know.

I do dislike quoting people from forum discussions as opposed to taking quotes from an article, but I think these words just say so much more than any article would.

----------------------2010-04-02------------------"Today something horrible happened! I feel like vomiting and it wasn't even my ferret. He* was a half brother of my Sn*. Anyway, I was out with my four ferrets in the Haga park with He* and his human Jo*. Jo* holds his He* as well as two of mine, Si* and Mu*. Me, Mi* and Se* are walking nearby. Suddenly I hear a ferret scream so loud. Then I hear Jo* yell 'damn dog' to a German Shepherd, that is shaking his head with a little ferret in his jaws. Finally the German Shepherd drops He*. I pick my two ferrets up and run up to Jo* who's holding He* in his arms. There's blood running out of He*'s mouth and his body is limp and he's barely breathing. We were helped to quickly get into the car with all the ferrets. Sadly, He* died from inner hemorrhage, in my arms. We went to Danderyd's animal hospital where we left him to be cremated. It was so hard to leave without him. Jo* pressed charges against the dog owner, but whether he gets paid damages or not, nothing in the world can replace his He*. R.I.P. little He*, I hope you're with your brother Sn* now! We love You!"

----------------------2010-04-02------------------"Thank you all. Yes, it was awful. I've never seen Jo* so sad. He* was Jo*'s first and only ferret. It could just as well have been one of mine being bitten and while I'm relieved that mine are alive, it feels so terribly unfair that I have four and Jo* has none. I can't see any purpose in this tragic event. There's nothing good that could come from a thing like this. He* was truly wonderful, I'm so sorry there was nothing we could do to save his life"

----------------------2010-04-02------------------"Yes, Jo* needs all sympathy now. He's isolated himself completely and doesn't want to see anyone, doesn't want to answer the phone and doesn't want to open the door when you come over. He wants to be alone and I can understand that. I hope he has the strength to make it through and that this traumatic experience doesn't stick to the memory of He*. It was so horrible"

----------------------2010-04-03------------------"I forgot to add that the German Shepherd was unleashed. The owner was a couple hundred meters away. Everything happened so quickly, in a split second. By Jo*'s request, I would like to tell you that He* was the nicest ferret in the world. He was a sable male who would have been four years old now in May. He was so much fun and nice and really sweet to everyone he met. And he had such a sweet tooth. Did anything to get a little snack. We will never ever forget you He* and we'll never stop missing you! Hugs / Jo* and Je*"

----------------------2010-04-04------------------"Hi everyone, it's me, Jo* and I just want to thank you all for your nice words and especially Je*. I feel, in these circumstances, considerably good and will get a new ferret in the future. Yes, it was horrible having to see your own ferret get bitten to death, but unfortunately there is nothing to do about what happened. I'm gonna talk to the police on Tuesday, so I'll see what this leads to. He* lives in my memories. Rest In Piece, He*. Your human. Jo*"

----------------------2010-04-09------------------"Things went quite fine at the police, now I'm just waiting for someone to start on the case. The police have more acute cases to deal with now, but someone will start on the case in a week or so. Thank you for all the nice words, it helps against my grief over losing him. Jo*"

----------------------2010-04-16------------------"Well, so much for the police. They cancelled the investigation without actions. He* died for nothing, the police said a loose dog biting a ferret isn't a criminal act. The dog owner walks free, without responsibility and I get nothing when my beloved He* died. Jo*"

----------------------2010-04-16------------------"Here's the law for dogs and cats. https://lagen.nu/2007:1150 Excerpt: #1 Dogs and cats shall be kept under such supervision and be cared for in such a way that considering their nature and other circumstances needed to prevent them causing damage or considerable inconvenience. #2 A damage caused by a dog shall be replaced by its owner or keeper, even if he or she did not cause the damage. What the owner or keeper has paid for the damage, he or she has the right to have replaced by the one whom has caused the damage."

----------------------2010-04-24------------------"I've talked with the owner now and he thought this shouldn't be brought to court. He wants in writing all that it has cost me, euthanasia, new ferret and so on. He will pay me this. Thank you for your support. Now I will move on with a new pup. Jo*"

I think it's pretty obvious they're talking about a person and not a thing.

Peace, love and animal rights.

My Goals And Stuff

2010-03-26T00:16:00.000+01:00

Hiya... I made a blog entry ages ago, listing up my goals and dreams and what the shit not... I thought it needed be updated, so here ya go, version 2010!

1. Most of all I need to find something deep and meaningful that makes all this shit worthwhile.

2. I want to help all my loved ones find happiness and realize their dreams. I am nothing without the people I love.

3. I want to be with SRC, because he's the only person who really understands my mind and shares my interests. Oh who am I kidding? I ruin every relationship.

4. I want to meditate. I need to do it more often and learn to do it properly. I can never seem to relax.

5. I want to practice the occult with SRC. I don't really feel motivated practicing by myself and not comfortable practicing with strangers, but SRC I trust.

6. I need to take care of my health. I easily just forget about that and then my health gets worse. Obviously.

7. I would like to harvest herbs and plants more often. When I was younger I would sometimes, but time just seems to slip away.

8. I would like to learn more about healing. I really like healing, but I believe that this skill will be better used if you study it some.

9. Have fun. My life may not always be meaningful or efficient, but then at least I can do some fun things to pass time.

10. Meet my best friend JSC. She's one of the most loving and loyal people I know and it would be so awesome to get to spend some real life time with her.

11. Help animals get better rights. There are so many animals that need help and all animals need to have stronger rights.

12. Spend more time in nature. I've always loved nature, I just don't have a lot of energy to go out.

13. Get rid of my tics. I have lots of tics of different kinds and they're quite disabling sometimes.

14. I would like to study and practice the occult more. I've always been interested in it, but never really felt motivated.

15. I would like to learn more about tarot. Tarot is quite fascinating, but as everything else in my life, I've just never had the motivation or energy.

16. I would like to get in better shape, so I can be more athletic. I feel so weak and frail right now.

17. Learn to be more independent. I'm actually quite good at taking care of myself, I just don't have the energy, focus and motivation... As with everything in my life.

18. Keep on taking care of my pets. I love them so much and I love to pamper them and make sure they are perfectly happy.

19. Spend lots of time with the children in my life. My cousins OLMKH and MRIKH, as well as a girl named HH. I love them so much.

20. Try to get more energy somehow. I found out that my lack of energy comes from a vitamin D deficiency, so I guess that's the main thing to beat.

21. Eat healthy. I usually have a very healthy diet, but sometimes I loosen it just a little.

22. Try to take care of my bad back. I don't always have the energy to stretch, but I really should.

23. Travel. Sure, why not? Yeah, I don't like to leave the house much, but when I do, I quite like it, I love to photograph different places.

24. Keep in touch with all my friends and loved ones. It happens sometimes that I don't speak to some for quite a while.

25. Try to be more environmentally friendly. I'm already vegan + super healthy, (as in I don't use animal products and I need healthy food) but the environment is important too, not just animals and health!

26. Learn more about herbs and collect them. I've always liked herbs and I believe in their healing powers.

27. Take up karate again. It's quite exhausting, but it's fun and it makes you so much stronger.

28. Keep on practicing contortion. I have always been very flexible, but I don't always keep stretching.

29. I'd like to learn some more wrestling moves. We learned some in karate earlier and I quite do like wrestling.

30. I'd like to make more things from scratch. For examnple, grow my own vegetables, pick them and cook them. I used to be really into that sort of thing.

31. I would like to learn first aid/different kinds of therapies/massage/medical care for animals.

32. I would like to as well learn first aid/therapies and that sort of thing for taking care of children.

33. Try to get enough sunlight. I do take vitamin D in liquid form, but sunlight is a pretty good vitamin source too.

34. I'd like to buy or adopt more pets. At the moment we have our hands full with the cats and snake, but no one knows what the future holds. (It could hold more animals)

35. I want to clean my room. Might not seem like much of a "goal", but my room will always be getting messy and I will always want to keep it... Not so messy. Hence the clean my room goal.

36. I'd like to learn some of those methods for learning autistic children to communicate. I've always been told I'd be great with that.

37. I'd like to do more charity and activism. I'm actually really into that sorta thing, I just... As always... I just don't have the energy.

38. I should try to get enough sleep and at the right time of day. I tend to mess up my rhytm.

39. I should really practice the art of not wasting money. I'm crazy about clothes and jewelry but I really have to learn to shop in moderation!

40. Get my own place! Exclamation point! I've wanted my own apartment for ages, they're just so damn expensive!

41. Spend lots of time on my photography! Another exclamation point! Everyone knows the Signe likes to photograph.

42. Also, model. No, I don't wanna be airbrushed and in a magazine. I like to model for myself or people I know, in different kinds of photos, expressing myself or portraying a theme.

43. I'd like to dance again. As a child I took classes in Hip Hop-Funk, Classic Ballet, Jazz-Show Dance and Show Dance. Also we got to learn some classic ballroom dances and folk dances in gym class.

44. I wanna keep feeding wild birds! I feel really connected to wild birdies somehow and well they don't seem to mind eating out of my hands!

45. I wanna always look perfect! I really like looking my best and wearing my best clothes, I just kinda let it go sometimes, because I'm too depressed or tired to bother.

46. I want to keep making various kinds of art. Of course I've already mentioned photography, but I like other methods as well.

47. I'd like to get a proper education. There was a lot of changing schools and being mentally ill when I was a teen, so I never finished high school, but I'm not dumb.

48. I'd like to get a good job in childcare. Or maybe work with the mentally handicapped. Or with animals. (Or mentally handicapped animal children?)

49. I would like to keep on writing. I write poems sometimes as well as short stories. I also like just writing stuff... Like this list!

50. I would like to learn more self-defense. In general. I know quite much karate and some wrestling already.

51. I would like to learn another language. I'm fluent in Swedish and English and I keep partially studying other languages now and then.

52. I would like to grow my own food. I do sometimes. Like vegetables, fruit, potatoes, spices and that sorta thing. And our Summer garden is always full of fruit and berries!

53. I would like to sew clothes. I have only sewn clothes for school when I was younger, but it would be nice to do it again.

54. I should read more about animal care. I love caring for my animals, but it is always good to read some more about how to take care of your animals as well as possible!

55. I want to somehow make sure everyone knows what "Doctor" Anette Johansson did to me. She's going down.

56. Always keep on buying pretty things! You always need more things! OK, I'll shop in MODERATION.

57. Always keep my room and surroundings nicely decorated. I know, I covered cleaning my room, but the furniture and art is important too!

58. Play around some with science, as well as of course, reading about it. I do have a microscope and some other fun things.

59. Keep on drawing. I know I covered photography, modeling and general art, but I think drawing deserves a mention!

60. Keep on designing clothes. Maybe I'll sew some of them. Either way I like drawing clothes.

61. Keep on singing and practice singing better. I'm basically a compulsive singer and somehow the more I sing (!) the better I get!

62. Throw out stuff I don't need. Yeah, it's important to get new nice things, but it's also important to get rid of all the old shit you don't need.

63. Manage my internet accounts. OK, that's not an "important" thing, but then, I do sort a lot of things by uploading them online or listing them on my websites, so yeah, it's pretty handy. (Hard to explain)

64. I wanna learn braille. Becaaause. I don't know. Blind people use it. And. Well. It's cool to learn stuff. (Hope I never go blind)

65. Learn to play an instrument. I played a bit of piano (or actually organ and keyboard, never really an actual piano) when I was younger. And I can play a mouth harp OK. (As in slightly)

66. Try to keep my things in order. I covered that already? No I covered CLEANING my room and having it nicely DECORATED. Difference.

67. Try to manage all them lists and projects and stuff that I work on at the puterator. Such as this list/project.

68. Learn to shoot a handgun. That's on my list for some reason. Yeah, I guess it's the whole "I can defend myself" thing that I like.

69. Keep on reading about and studying interesting and fascinating things! I sure do love... Various interesting subjects. Yup.

70. Keep learning Swedish Sign Language. Why is that down here when braille is way up there? Probably because I added braille to the list much later, when I wanted to study both braille and sign language more than I did earlier. Or something. Lists aren't always perfect. I can redo the list later maybe, but it's more or less right as it is right now. (I listed up the things before I wrote these details and that. It took me some months because I'm slow or something.)

Portland's West Sylvan Middle School is Out of Control!

2010-03-20T12:24:00.000+01:00

Drugs? STDs? Pregnancies? Violence? Bullying? Low attendance? Nope, hugs. Now this is one of the cutest school plagues I have ever seen - I'm kinda glad that out of control hugging is the biggest problem at this school, because it kinda makes you wanna laugh. I mean, sure it seems like a big problem for them, but it would have been a Hell of a lot worse if the problem was drugs or pregnancies or something.

----The hugs were out of control at West Sylvan Middle School.

Students could not pass each other in the hallway without a hug, the principal said. The girls were hugging one another all the time. Kids were late to class because of the hugs.

Classes would end, middle schoolers would eye a classmate at the other end of the hallway, "they'd scream, run down the hallway and jump in each other's arms," Principal Allison Couch said.

It was, Couch said, a virus of hugs.

So the principal banned hugs on the school campus in late February.

The campus of nearly 600 seventh- and eighth-graders joined a growing list of schools nationwide that have halted hugs as well as other behaviors deemed detrimental to teaching and learning.

Couch said she was prompted to act in part because of a school bus incident that drew police. Though she would not describe what happened, she said no students had been harmed.

Also, it appeared to her that some students were hugging others who did not want the sign of affection.

In a March 10 memo written to other school district officials, Couch wrote, "Several parents have called because their child is being hugged, and because there is a 'culture of hugging' here they didn't feel that they could say no."

In at least one case, hugging was used as a form of mockery -- when two eighth-grade girls hugged a seventh-grade boy, she said.

"'They did that to be mean,'" Couch said the boy told her later. "'They don't like me. They did that to be mean.'"

Also, parents reported that girls were using hugging as a game to see how fast boys could become aroused, Couch said, adding, "I was seeing evidence of it."

The policy may sound unreasonable to someone outside the school, she said, but if someone filed a lawsuit because of unwanted touching, a bigger news story would have resulted. ----

Full story HERE

Fuck You All, It's Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T11:47:00.000+01:00

Every Valentine's Day I've either been not in love, in love with someone who didn't love me or in love with someone who lives really really far away.

Fuck you all and have an awful Valentine's!

About Last Night

2010-02-07T12:13:00.000+01:00

So, it was last night last night... Well... Obviously. And this last night... I couldn't find my acrylic paints. Seriously. COULDN'T FIND THEM Y'ALL. So anyway. Anyway. What was I gonna do huh? How was I gonna spend the night? Sleeping? Well, I slept all day before so I couldn't do that. Well, I didn't sleep ALL day, first I took care of some things that I had to do - Move that big pile of clothes on my bed into bags and put them out in the hall so my parents could put them in the basement. So, my bed was free for the first time in like a week and so I slept for many hours during the day. Anyway. Last night. Yes, my brain really is this chaotic and jumpy. Well, it's worse than this but yeah. Anyway. ANYWAY. Anyway. I really wanted to paint something. I have some acrylic paints and I used them only a few days ago. And then I have some MORE acrylic paints, but it seems my parents have put them in the basement. So I looked for the paints in the kitchen. In the living room. In my room. In the bathroom. In my sister's room. And then I looked again in all these rooms. I really did leave the paints in the living room, but my parents must have moved them. Anyway. Not being able to find these paints that I used only a few days ago, I begin thinking of those paints that my parents put in the basement. So. I look for them in the basement. In the storage thingies in the basement. And in that cold corridor where all the basements of ours and our neighbours' are linked together. No acrylic paints anywhere. Oh well. I decided to photograph the acrylic paintings I made a few days ago. You can't really see the details and subtle color shifts/variations whatever so very well on photo. So, having photographed them the best I could, I decided I had to make some kinda art anyway. I really don't like water colors. I suck at drawing. I'm so sick of digital art. I wasn't in photography mood. Either way, I decided to actually draw. It went OK. After a while, I got so tired that I stopped drawing. I lay in my bed with my cat in my arms, but it took me some hours to fall asleep. Either way, having my cat in my arms is a pretty sweet deal.

One Thing Is Quite Annoying About Parents Who Aren't Fluent In English

2010-02-04T00:09:00.001+01:00

It's whenever they hear some English phrase that they're not too familiar with and then in a really cool (read: embarassing) tone they recreate some sentence where they've heard that word.

For example, I once read something that had the word "dang" or if it was on TV, I can't recall and out of the blue my mom starts quoting the movie Napoleon Dynamite.

"Make yourself a dang quesilada!"... "You mean quesadilla?"... "What did I say?"

On another note, God I hate our bathroom! It's so gross and smelly and it makes me sick. I'm not sure if I'm longing to get my own place so I can have my own bathroom or if I'm dreading to get my own place, since I would have to actually clean it by myself!

But then, if I never get it dirty I never have to clean it right? Right? RIGHT? Nope. Can't fool myself. There are bacteria everywhere, I know that 'cause I watch way too many forensic documentaries! I do. Just ask my mom! I could probably name more serial killers than she could name celebrities who bleached their teeth. (And yes I am watching a documentary on serial killers right now)

Latest News

2010-01-28T00:04:00.000+01:00

Today I finally had my blood tests taken. Well, not the actual tests, but they got the blood today. Also I had to (warning gross) leave a urine sample, which somewhat creeped me out. We paid for the really expensive special-tests to be done at a fancy lab and all, so within some weeks I guess (I don't know how long the special tests take, but the regular tests should be done in a week) I should have answers on all my values and whatnot.

I have felt somewhat more energetic lately, although still very tired. I suppose I feel inspired, knowing that in a few months I can start to live my life with someone beautiful and intelligent who comforts me and makes me laugh. Of course it will only be for a few weeks, then he will have to go back to Australia, but I suppose we will just have to keep on visiting each other until we can move in together, if we ever get that far.

Since it was the first time I was on town in quite a while, I did take the opportunity, even though I was very tired and there was a small blizzard, to go to some of my favorite shops. I went into a casual underwear store first, just because it happened to be nearby, but they didn't really have much interesting there. Then we (me and my mom) visited AfroArt, where they do have some interesting things, but nothing in particular that caught my eye.

Then we took the subway to go to our favorite vintage store (the oldest thing there is from the 17th century while the newest are from the 60's, though most things are from between late 19th century and the 50's) and it was open! So, we went in and we spent quite some time there, looking at and trying on clothes. There were three pieces of clothing there that I quite fell for and I ended up buying all three.

The first was a blouse from the 30's-40's sometime. It's a very simple blouse in a soft fabric, it's baby pink with little flowers on. The second was a bra from the 40's-50's sometime, in light pink satin, the thing is, that when you do find truly vintage bras, they are often in strange big sizes, but this bra happened to be a B cup and it was just my size in every way!

The third item - oh lawdy - it was a gorgeous blouse that I saw and fell for, it was at least a hundred years old, pink and black with lace and other decorations. I got it at a great discount as the lace was quite broken. Oh well. I have so many vintage and antique clothes that need fixing, maybe I should look into finding a really good seamstress.

Oh and by the way, that vintage store, it's EPOK, in Stockholm, owned by Agneta Kusoffsky, who sings karaoke, writes and makes art (I haven't witnessed the singing, writing or making art, but I love her store). Just thought I would shill her a little, apparently she likes it when people blog about her, gives her more costumers (though of course no one reads my blog but whatever)

Far Away

2010-01-25T00:25:00.001+01:00

Why must he live so far away?

Human Rights?

2010-01-23T16:47:00.000+01:00

I read in the news that a woman punished her son for his bad report card by making him smash his hamster to death with a hammer. I'm usually pro-human rights, but I'm not sure "people" (monsters) like this should have any rights.

Raaawwwrrr

2010-01-22T11:29:00.002+01:00

I'm a kitty cat! I'm a kitty cat! Like totally! Sorry, I'm in a silly mood. My extremely adorable (actual) cat is being so damn adorably cuddly right now.

Happiness

2010-01-21T01:52:00.000+01:00

The Siglet is happy. And in love. This is good. (It really is you guys) I'm working towards getting my health better and my baby is working towards getting the moneys to come see his girlfriend (that's me) and by the way if you didn't know it yet, I live in Sweden and he lives in Australia and for those who just really suck at geography: That's like opposite ends of the world, basically.

I've had some trouble sleeping lately, but then I've amused myself by watching many episodes of South Park (I watch them on -->this if you click here<-- site) and reading the archives of Dinosaur Comics (clicky -->here<-- please) and as everyone knows cartoons and comics are the meaning of life. (I might be exaggerating here, but you gotta love cartoons and comics)

As for work and studies, I'm not really doing any of that right now, I'm too tired and at the moment I'm mostly excited about starting this new relationship with my man. Not saying that I'm gonna ditch school and work to just be in love, but you know, I'm not really in shape for school or work (besides I don't even have school or work so I can't technically ditch it) right now, so I'm just trying to focus on lighter things, for example, I've been working some on photography, modeling, drawing and photo-manipulation, it's all just for fun of course, I'm not hoping to be a professional artist, it's not really my thing, more of a hobby really!

Peace

New Year: The Best Links

2010-01-03T16:44:00.003+01:00

I have visited many many websites and made quite a few link specials of different kinds, but, for the sake of the new year, I decided to make a blog entry with the very best, most important websites there are. Now, some of these are kind of more esoteric than others and some might seem more or less important than others, but I've picked these because these are the ones I really like, fine, top quality websites that will make us all HAPPY. Now, they are in no particular order and they are all much better than the average website. These are the best. Behold. These are some of the best sites you'll ever visit!

Puricute
Dinosaur Comics
TAAZ
Witches' Voice Inc.
Fulheten
Rather Good
Similar Sites
The Free Site
I Can Has Cheezburger?
whatdoestheinternetthink?net
Lawlolawl Studios
Personas
Ferry Halim
Coloring Book Land
Tear Drop Memories
The Alphabetizer
4shared
Cracked
Dead Frontier
Grooveshark
gURL
EatLiver
Average Cats
(The Costumer Is) Not Always Right
Care2
Nautilus
God is Imaginary - 50 simple proofs
Witch School International
Murray The Nut
Choose It
Google
BananaSlug
GOD checker
SurLaLune Fairy Tales
Imagination Cubed
Purescore
Aviary
PonyIsland
Alltop
FARK
Hello Kitty Online
Death and Dementia
Anomalies Unlimited
The Black Stump
Madame Talbot's Victorian Lowbrow and Gothic Lowbrow
Joshua Hoffine

New Year: A Signe A Month

2010-01-01T21:22:00.005+01:00

Happy New Year! And new decade. I decided to give you a Signe a month for the past year - So it's one photo of me for each month. Now, I am only giving you the photos to look at, the actual Signe belongs to the Stuart. Just look at the damn pictures.

Signe of JANUARY

Kissy Signe of FEBRUARY

Signe of MARCH

Underwear Signe of APRIL

Top and panties Signe of MAY

Green streaks Signe of JUNE

Signe of JULY, in the countryside, hair crudely put up and the same clothes for days

Signe of AUGUST in her new sailor dress

...

I couldn't find a Signe of September

...

Signe of OCTOBER

Vampire Signe of NOVEMBER

Silly face Signe of DECEMBER

New Year: Photos of 2009

2009-12-31T18:59:00.004+01:00

With the new year coming up, I decided to summarize the old year in pictures. I picked one photo I've taken each month in 2009, it's kind of hard picking the best of each month, but I tried, so here are one of the best pics I've taken for each month!

JANUARY

My cousin Majken

FEBRUARY

Birds on lake Mälaren

MARCH

Self-portrait with a dried bouquet of flowers

APRIL

A butterfly that had suffered a lack of oxygen and walked around on me while recovering

MAY

A dandelion

JUNE

Baby crocodile

JULY

The hills of Wales

AUGUST

My cousin Olga

SEPTEMBER

A spider in motion

OCTOBER

My cousin Olga at Hedvig's birthday party

NOVEMBER

My dear cat Gloria

DECEMBER

My cousin Olga celebrating Christmas

New Year: Summary of 2009

2009-12-30T18:19:00.002+01:00

Hi! Since the new year is coming up I just thought I'd list up some of the most important things that happened this past year.

I was stupid enough to fall in love with a girl named Jackie.

I did work practice at a pre-school where I got to know some very wonderful children.

I fell out of love with Jackie.

I went to a great Diamanda Galás concert.

I fell in love with my best friend, we met in real life several times and spent lots of time together.

My cat Yuffie died.
She was eleven years old and had kidney failure.
Luckily my boyfriend/best friend was with me and he comforted me a lot.

My little sister Lydia went to America as an exchange student or whatever they call it these days.
She's not coming back to Sweden until next Summer.

I broke up with my amazing boyfriend/best friend, because I found someone else.
My ex doesn't wanna be friends anymore.
I'm gonna miss that beautiful man, but I'm falling in love again, which is great!
My new man's name is Stuart.

So, What's New?

2009-12-23T17:08:00.003+01:00

You're all wondering...

Oh well!

So I broke up with my beautiful amazing boyfriend. I loved him very much but it was my decision and I had my personal reasons. I am now the property of Mister Stuart in Australia.

I finished my practice at the kindergarten, but yesterday I visited there to pick up some spare clothes I had left there and leave a Christmas card. It got a bit emotional, because one of the kids that I had connected the most with had really missed me and got sad knowing I wasn't gonna come there anymore. Poor sweet girl. I hugged her lots and stroked her beautiful hair.

It's the Chrismess! I'm not a Christian, but I do enjoy the traditions of listening to Mahalia Jackson, watching the same cartoons that show on Christmas Eve every year, give and recieve gifts and getting the family together! When I say "family", I'm mostly referring to my very lovely little cousins Olga and Majken.

I didn't really have the energy... Or will this year to buy presents for every single person I know, it's just so repetitive and so hard to pick something out! The only people who get concrete presents from me are my mom, Olga, Majken and Hedvig. Other people will get symbolic gifts and perhaps some drawings if I have the energy and inspiration to make them!

Oh, well, I believe that's all I wanted to ramble about for now. Ta ta!

Snowb

2009-12-18T21:31:00.003+01:00

Well, Sweden sure is cold! Today was something between -15 and -6 Celcius locally. Going out, I wore

One tanktop
One longsleeved top
Another longsleeved top
One t-shirt
One knit sweater
One hoodie sweater
One pair of panties
Another pair of panties
One pair of tights that cover feet
Another pair of tights that cover feet
One pair of pants
Another pair of pants
A pair of socks
A long coat
One pair of extra thick snow pants
A knit cap
A scarf
Thick gloves
One pair of boots

So I was only somewhat cold

The kids love the snow though!

"It is good snowb. It is good snowb" *Licks snowb*
"Snow is full of germs"

...

*Keeps licking snowb*
"Snow is full of germs"

...

*Keeps munching on snowb*
*Shakes head at child*
*Nods at me*
*Rubs child's adorable nose*

...

*Teaches younger child how to properly eat snowb*
"Guys, you know how many germs there are in snow? Guys? You can get sick if you eat that!" *Blows kiss at children and give up*

It was my last day at the pre-school today. Now those kids will have to do without me! I sure will miss 'em.

I Just Feel Like Crying

2009-12-15T22:39:00.004+01:00

I am in quite a pickle right now, one where I am hurting two very important people as well as myself. I'm gonna have to make a very tough choice and if I don't, then we'll all end up with nothing. Especially me. I'll be all alone. And I already am. Now, I know that these things are somewhat personal, but it's therapeutic for me to write things publicly and don't worry, I won't share any personal details.

I got

APS - The love of my life, my best friend, whom I've always counted on and trusted. We had a perfect relationship that we were sure no one could break through and we were both sure we would be spending our lives together. We were so happy. Not only were we in love, we were the closest friends and we knew that when life gets hard, we'd always have each other.

and

SRC - An old friend who suddenly came back into my life, who has everything in common with me, the same weird, isolated mind that I thought only I had, the same thoughts I have and the same unusual interests and passions. We just reconnected and connected more than ever. It's like our minds are the same.

So: Now I have no boyfriend. I broke up with APS because I wouldn't want to be a dishonest girlfriend by being with him at the same time as I had feelings for someone else. And I can't belong to SRC because I'm still in love with APS. If I do decide that APS is the only one for me after all, I would have to crawl in the dirt and beg for him to take me back after the pain I've caused and if he would take me back he would probably forbid me to ever speak to my beautiful SRC ever again. If I decide to be with SRC, then I would forever have to lose the perfect love I had with APS and the safety and comfort he gave me as my best friend and soulmate, which was my entire life.

New Info On The Kids

2009-12-06T22:30:00.003+01:00

I just read some updates on the children who fell out a window in August, I wrote about them back then when it happened. They're all alive, but it's not all good news, I'm almost crying a little. Ayub and Filip recovered quite perfectly, but all is not well with Samira. She had to remove a piece of her skull, so now she has to wear a helmet all the time - She could die if she hit her head again. Also, she sometimes gets severe memory loss, so bad that she cannot even remember her mother. Apparently there's a 50 per cent chance of her memory going back to normal. Such a gorgeous, lively little girl cannot play like children do and her parents have to worry all the time. It's such a tragedy. I'm glad she's alive at least.

Bonding With Butterflies

2009-12-05T20:59:00.005+01:00

I realized that I have several times really bonded with butterflies. But then I thought: Is it even really possible to bond with a butterfly? I mean, they're insects, they cannot possibly have any feelings toward a human being. Several times I've helped injured or sick butterflies get back to health and it almost seems like they trusted me somehow.

In April, I noticed a butterfly stuck in the window - It was trapped between the two glasses and was still alive. I opened up between the glasses to let the butterfly out and it climbed on my hands, face and hair for quite a while. It was clear it suffered a lack of air and therefore seemed quite weak and tired.

After a while it recovered and it could fly short, short distances at a time. I had somewhere to be, so I could not stay with it forever and therefore put it down in a flower pot, among the flowers, hoping it would recover. When I was back home, the butterfly was not there. Either it managed to fly away or one of my cats ate it. I hope it flew away.

Another time, when I was about to go home from my work practice at the pre-school, I found a butterfly walking around on the ground, in the quite windy weather. I realized that something was wrong with it, so I carefully picked it up to look at it, but I had to be quite careful, since the gusts of wind could blow the butterfly away - Which could not fly or even walk well of its own.

I saw that it had something sticky on it, must have walked in glue or tree sap or something, it surely wasn't spider-web, no, this was something much stronger. Basically, the antennae were glued together and some of the legs were glued to each other as well as to the wings. As you might understand, this is quite a pickle for a delicate butterfly.

What I had to do was perform "buttefly surgery" of a kind. I had to carefully "cut" between the stuck together body-parts, to free them from each other. The butterfly seemed to trust me and stayed in my hand. I had to use small sticks I found on the ground to gently press between the antennae to separate them.

It seemed quite uncomfortable for the butterfly, but it worked after a while. The antennae were unharmed. Still a bit covered in the sticky thing, which was obviously dried up and not anymore sticky, but the antennae were separate from each other and seemed good as new. I do not recall quite how I managed to pull through between the antennae, I think I just had the butterfly on my hand and "lifted" it up with the stick between the antennae and after a while, it worked.

Then there was still the problem of the legs and wings: The butterfly seemed a bit uncomfortable, but was very patient with me. I think what the butterfly did was climb my fingers while I pulled the small stick between its legs and wings to separate them. The butterfly stayed patiently and I think I only had to hold it still a few times.

Now how you hold a butterfly still - Is to very, very, very softly pinch the legs. I mean extremely softly. Butterflies are very fragile. Anyway, I managed to separate the legs from each other and then separate them from the wings - Which they were glued to, making it impossible to walk or fly.

In the end, the butterfly recovered quite well and the only thing it lost was a tiny part of its wing - The wings were already somewhat damaged, though. It could walk well, but seemed somewhat hesitant towards flying, although it could move its wings again. I left it in the bushes, so that it would have some protection from the wind and people walking on the ground. I hope it could fly again.

Another time at the pre-school, this time it was fall, maybe September or October, I can't really recall, a girl told me she found a butterfly. I found the butterfly hiding in a tire-swing. It is quite strange to see a living butterfly in Sweden that late in the year, so I guess it was a late butterfly.

As it was very cold, the butterfly would probably have frozen to death within some days and it probably did unless it found a place to hibernate. But its always nice to make sure the animal it well as long as possible. I let it be in my hand but it really did not move much. I figured that some warm air would probably help warm it up, as it seemed to be very still from the cold.

And very well - It did start to move around when I exhaled warm air at it. At first it just started moving around a little, but the next time I carefully breathed at it, it flew away and I mean it really flew away far up in the sky and it wasn't the wind, it was with its own wings. I hope it found a nice place to hibernate. If it didn't survive, I hope at least it didn't suffer.

Scared

2009-12-04T12:11:00.001+01:00

I'm so scared right now. I'm not gonna tell you why. I'm just really worried about some certain things.

Happy Birthday!

2009-11-22T11:21:00.004+01:00

The world's awesomest cat, Silver-Gloria Lockheart is eight years old today! Mommy loves you baby!

The Blue Whale

2009-11-19T01:52:00.003+01:00

I can't sleep. I keep having the Blue Whale on my mind. The Blue Whale is a fascinating mammal, which is sadly endangered. They are strange and mysterious and really huge. I mean really, REALLY huge. Like, scarily huge. I mean come on - I know they're amazing and all, but they're really scary!

It's their size. Anything that big would be scary. As fascinated as I am with whales, they really are scary.

Blue Whales are fascinating, beautiful animals... That send chills down my spine!

Orphan

2009-11-16T22:46:00.003+01:00

The other night I saw a new horror movie called "Orphan". I'm the kinda girl who LOVES a good horror film, but with about 90 % of horror movies, I just sit there judging the poor plot, acting, special effects and directing that most horror movies - And movies in general - Have. However, this one was great and it was really freaking scary - Seriously, I got... What ya callit... Not exactly scared but you know... What good thrillers do... Thrill you... I got thrilled... Thinking it was really scary, wondering what would happen next.

So, I can safely say it's a very good movie. However, there was one thing in the movie that really disturbed me. There was a scene when a couple fucked in their kitchen, while their three children were at home, so they were a bit scared that the kids would walk in on them and one did walk in on them, a nine year old girl.

The next morning, the mom went to talk to her about it, explaining that when grownups love each other they wanna show it. The girl interrupts her mom, saying "I know. They fuck." This TOTALLY shocked the mom and she went to talk to her husband about it. "The way she said it, it wasn't like she had just overheard the word, it was like SHE KNEW WHAT IT MEANT", then, she added "It was like she didn't expect to get in trouble for it."

HELLO?! Earth to fictional mommy, of course a nine year old knows what sex is and uses the word "fucking" to describe it. It's informal. Children aren't supposed to say that grownups "have sex" or "make love", now THAT would be kinda creepy! Also, WHY would she get in trouble over it? She walked in on her parents fucking doggystyle in the kitchen. While their three kids were home. THEY should get in trouble.

Also, why would she get in trouble for telling her mom she already knows what sex is? "When grownups like each other, they want to show it..." "I know, they fuck." That seems like a very sensible and expected response from a nine year old girl. It would have been strange if she didn't know what sex was - Or if she used an expression like "have sex" or "make love", as I already pointed out, both because she's expected to be a bit angry and rude to her parents if they fuck in the kitchen while their kids are home, risking being walked in on (besides, parents don't make beautiful love to each other, parents fuck in disgusting and unholy ways, because, well, they're your parents) and because "fuck" is basically the first expression for sex that kids learn.

What the fuck, movie mom, how messed up is your sense of reality? Also, there was all the horror and scary stuff in the movie, but that's sorta expected in a horror movie, so yeah, that doesn't really disturb me, maybe if it was labeled as a children's movie, but it's a horror movie, so yeah.

Random Title

2009-11-04T22:06:00.005+01:00

Ever want to see some random funny thing? Find a random stock photo? Read a random article? Or read a random person's whining? Sometimes you're just too lazy to know what to do and sometimes you just need a little inspiration from the excellence of randomizers. Here is a list of randomizers, everytime you click them, you will come to a different website, story or whatever!

NOTE: I did not personally pick out any of these articles or pictures. These are randomizers, meaning everytime you click them something completely random will show up. Due to the fact that you cannot predict where these links will lead you, you should use some caution clicking them!

Random funny video at Tofulator
Random file at Wikimedia Commons
Random LOL at I Can Has Cheezburger?
Random LOL at ROFLrazzi
Random funny picture at StoneHome
Random 404 message from 404 Research Lab
Random article at Anarchopedia
Random urban legend at Snopes
Random complaints at b-tch
Random kawaii website listed at All Things Kawaii
Random texts at Texts From Last Night
Random quote collection from Wikiquote
Random medical article at Ganfyd
Random Cyanide and Happiness comic at Explosm
Random article at Citizendium
Random LOL at Pundit Kitchen
Random article at Scholarpedia
Random stories at F My Life
Random page at Wikisource
Random funny article at Wittypedia
Random parody article at Encyclopedia Dramatica
Random article at Wikinews
Random complaint at Complain About
Random lie at Dave's Web Of Lies
Random funny picture at Eat Liver
Random cute video at VideoSift's Cute Channel
Random toon at Left-Handed Toons By Right-Handed People
Random word or phrase at Urban Dictionary
Random history article at Archives Wiki
Random LOL at I Has A Hot Dog
Random average cat picture at Average Cats
Random unrelated picture at Unrelated Captions
Random species at Wikispecies
Random FAIL at Fail Blog
Random page at the Internet censorship wiki
Random funny article at Uncyclopedia
Random comic at xkcd
Random look-alikes at Totally Looks Like
Random article at Wikiversity
Random Engrish LOL at Engrish Funny
Random story at The Costumer Is Not Always Right
Random photo article at Fotopedia
Random word at Wiktionary
Random article at Wikipedia
Random author at Wikisource
Random LOL at Graph Jam
Random destination at Wikitravel

Dark and Sweet Links

2009-10-26T18:50:00.003+01:00

Cute, but evil... Macabre, but strangely sweet. Such things are a huge part of my life. I love gurololi clothes - Childish dresses covered in (hopefully fake) blood splatter - and I love drawing gurololis, cute vampires, evil little girls and such neat scary things. This list contains the websites of some of my favorite artists and writers as well as some other great sites of the innocent, but evil!

Serena Valentino
Living Dead Dolls
Hans Arnold
Tim Burton
Sweet Macabre
Cute Dead Things
Lenore - The Cute Little Dead Girl
Things That Go Boo
Edward Gorey
Jason Jacenko
Shop Of Little Horrors
Robert The Doll
Corpse Bride
Crab Scrambly
Child Vampire
Ghost Girl
JK Benton
Cute Little Threat
Spookyland
Haunted Dolls Org
StarMonkey
Little Dead Girl Dolls
Little Apple Dolls
Haunted Dolls Net

WTF?

2009-10-25T16:40:00.004+01:00

Look what I found on FML. A lady saying she just found out Benjamin Franklin wasn't the president of the United States and 25 (so far) pages of insults as to how stupid and uneducated she is. Actually, it is true, he wasn't America's president (thanks Wikipedia), but seriously, who knew that?

I have NEVER heard anybody talk about Benjamin Franklin as if he wasn't the president, never heard anyone suggest he wasn't. When the American presidents are mentioned, he's always mentioned with them. Of course, this is FML, which means probably 80 % of the commenters never even heard of Benjamin Franklin and just wanted to insult this woman for happening not to know that he wasn't the president.

Is there anything more ridiculous than harassing someone for not knowing something basically no one knows? (OK, -->maybe<--)

Original thread -->HERE<--

Grandma

2009-10-21T23:11:00.002+02:00

My grandma Elsie died five years ago today. I miss her. She was groovy and a really fascinating person.

Links: Art Tools And Photo Editors Online

2009-10-08T09:59:00.027+02:00

Here's a list of some nice art tools and photo editors online, personally reviewed by me and with images to show what you can do there!

For even more, dig around in my blog archives a little!

iSketch
OK, this is the first entry on this list - Which is by the way in random order. iSketch is a nice and simple art tool where you can create quite simple pieces of art, kind of like a slightly more advanced version of Paint. Very easy and definitely suitable for children or just beginners in general.

Phixr
This is a quite basic online photo editor. It is quite limiting for the advanced users, but it's good enough to play a little bit with your photos or drawings. The perk is that it is quite quick to use and that it is online, so you can use it even if you're on a slow computer or if you don't have the time to download a program!

Zombify Yourself
This isn't so much an art tool as it is a photo toy - Turn yourself into a zombie just in time for Halloween! There are several effects to choose from to make you look like a scary undead monster, just like in the movies! Mine is so scary I scare myself! The smile and the sailor dress makes me look even more terrifying!

Pixer
Another one of those very basic online photo editors. Not very challenging for the more advanced photo editing folks, but good for a quick photo fix or some fun effects on your pictures. Might be fun to play around with if you're making abstract art, as there are a number of textures and color effects to choose from.

LoonaPix
This site is seriously fun! Make instant photo-manips with these cool frames! You just upload a pic, choose a frame, center around the face (or whatever area you wish to use) and then click "create" and the picture is instantly done! You can put your face (or other pictures) in many different cool, beautfiul, artistic and funny scenes! You can also put your face on someone else's body!

Blingee
This isn't really a photo editor as there are no ways to "improve" your photos, but it's a fun and very easy online program from adding clip art and graphics to your photos or artwork. Very good to use as quick little gifts to post on your friends MySpace or FaceBook (like I do for my best friend all the time)

Imagination Cubed
This thing is pretty cool, it's a slightly-more-than-just-basic drawing pad online, but what makes it extra cool is that you can actually draw together, several people, on different computers. Just send someone an invite to come and draw with you (if you know they're on the computer already) and you can draw a purdy picture together!

Pho.to
Another simple photo editor. Some basic photo enhancement tools as well as a few artistic effects you can put on your photos. Not the most challenging or great program exactly, but it is online, quick and free. Good for beginners who just need to quickly adjust a photo or want to play with some effects!

Glogster
This site is cool! You can make huge posters with your photos, lots of clip art, you can even use audio and video. It's a great way to express yourself even if you're not very good at drawing, because there are so many pre-made graphics to use. Great for making greeting cards or website banners and such!

FACEinHOLE
This site is pretty cool! You can upload photos of yourself or your friends and put your faces on celebrities' bodies or maybe in a work of art! Quite many scenarios to choose from and it seems that if you're a member, you can even upload your own scenarios! I've watched "Corpse Bride" five or six times, but I've never imagined how it would look if the main characters were designed after me!

Phototeez
Another photo decorating toy. This one is sorta "grungy", so I suppose it suits people best that have a modern style. I saw that there weren't a lot of frames or decorations that fit this photo of me with partial red lipstick and a strange stare on my face! I think this site is more suitable for photos of people that are emo, hip hop, punk, rock or anything else kind of "urban"!

PhotoFunia
As you might have guessed, this is a site which has to do with photos and is fun. This is correct. You choose your effect and upload a photo of your face and then you can see your face on another person's body or maybe in a work of art. Lots of different scenarios to choose from. Pretty cool results.

FunPhotoBox
This is another cool site where you can choose an effect and upload a photo to make an instant photo-manip. Lots of beautiful and artistic scenarios -and some silly ones - to choose from. You can get some really nice results. You are able to crop the photos to fit the scenario you have chosen.

FotoFlexer
Online photo editing program. According to the website it's the world's most advanced online photo editor and I guess it might be. You can edit your photos with it, but you can also decorate them and put fun effects on them. There's some clip art to choose from as well as frames. You can also put your face on someone else's body!

PikiPimp
This is fun! Upload your photo and decorate it with lots of cute and funny graphics and photos, quite big library to choose from! You can add different facial features or maybe a wig, piercing or hat! Quite easy to use and it doesn't get slow. You can make quite realistic results or you can just make something funny!

Signe Robertson's Random Piece Of Advice Number Ten

2009-10-07T09:04:00.002+02:00

It is important to separate a fascination with dark subjects and actually being evil. If you are interested in learning about serial killers or brutal regents, it doesn't mean you secretely want to be like them, so you really don't need to worry. You can have an interest in the macabre without there being anything wrong with you.

Elias

2009-10-05T20:51:00.004+02:00

Yesterday, we had family over. It was my mom's father's sister Gunvor with husband Lennart, daughter Karolina, son in law Andreas and grandchild Elias. It was the first time ever that I met my mom's cousin and her boyfriend and baby son. I didn't get much of an impression of my mom's cousin Karolina, because they were only visiting so quickly and barely even spoke to me (which I find a bit odd since people usually speak to me, but maybe they thought I was shy...?), I know I shouldn't write this in my blog as it might be rude, but I just feel like I need to write it, I did NOT care for Karolina's boyfriend!

If he was just boring like many people are it would have been rude to write that about him, but he was really a rude and unpleasant person in my opinion! He barely said a word to me that wasn't offensive. Starting when we greeted each other, his first comment was "Did you just get out of bed?", then when I told him I was a vegan, he said "I make fun of those!" and he did. Several times. Right to my face.

And later he asked me "Signe, you'll be able to get a driver's license in a few years, won't you?" and I'm like "Ehm, well, I'm twenty years old" and he went "Really?"... So I'm somewhat pissed at him for being so rude to me in my own home, especially as it was the very first time I met this distant family of mine.

The baby however, was just wonderful! His name is Elias and he is five months old and so beautiful and adorable! I'm glad I got to meet him! Here are some pictures I took yesterday of baby Elias and his mom Karolina!

Signe Robertson's Random Piece Of Advice Number Nine

2009-10-03T14:44:00.001+02:00

Don't worry too much and don't dwell on little things that don't matter... Just focus on love and happiness!

Animal Rights

2009-09-27T17:47:00.001+02:00

Please sign my petition to help animals get stronger rights.

->LINK<-

Signe Robertson's Random Piece Of Advice Number Eight

2009-09-26T09:45:00.003+02:00

Today, I have some pieces of mini-advice for you.

If you love somebody now, forget how many people broke your heart in the past.

Don't shave your pubes in bed. Just don't.

If you want to dress old-fashioned, for example in 19th century clothes, but you decide to modernize or change the outfit a little bit, keep in mind that could mean you end up dressing in a way that was considered slutty in the 19th century.

If a huge house is talking to you, telling you to get out, you're probably either asleep or on drugs.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: Bears are really cute, I know, but don't go near them for goodness sake!

It Never Stops!

2009-09-20T15:26:00.002+02:00

When it comes to not shutting up, I win big time. My dad was going food shopping today and asked me and my mom if we needed anything.

Me: Yes, you have to buy blueberries and raspberries and potato chips and peanuts and fruit purée and 100 % pure chocolate

My mom: See they don't make that, it always has a LITTLE sugar in it

Me: And 100 % licorice and apple juice and orange juice and really expensive

My mom: She's just making things up now

Me: Really expensive fancy mushrooms and all the expensive exotic fruits you can find and a big bouquet of roses in this color *points at the pale orangey pink bow on my panties*

My dad: Anything else?

Me: And a cherry tree for the garden and more rose bushes

My dad: Yes!

Me: And sunflowers, because we don't have any at all and some more dresses for me and a brown dress that is like tight in the top with a big wide skirt and I need more bloomers and more undershirts and kneesocks and really cute aprons and

My mom: It never stops!

My dad: I'll have to make a list!

Me: And a horse for me to ride on and some nice vegan saddles and that and a stable and some little cute kittens for me to play with while I'm not riding the horse and some tiny white African hedgehogs...

My dad: Heh, white African hedgehogs...

Me: And a big nice cage full of canaries for my room

My mom: It never stops!

Me: And a bigger room that I can put in my current room so my room will get bigger so I can fit my canaries in there and a nice big bed, really expensive and big, from the 18th century and some nice old dolls from the 19th century wearing pretty dresses and a bigger TV that covers the whole living room wall and some nice antique sofas for the living room but they have to be comfy and I have to be able to see the TV from them without getting uncomfortable oh and a new camera

My mom: You can talk so long!

Me: The best fanciest most expensive camera there is, it has to be the most expensive you can find

My dad: The price is the most important thing?

Me: Yes. Will you remember all this?

My dad: I'm sure I will

Signe Robertson's Random Piece Of Advice Number Seven

2009-09-16T18:12:00.002+02:00

Wear something simple and childlike, it is so cute and you won't look like any of those creepy famous ladies who have their faces smeared with make-up and wear slutty clothes. An example of a sweet and simple outfit you could wear is:

Hair down or in a simple pony-tail
A big sweat-shirt, solid pink or pink/white striped
Vintage jeans, light blue or white
Simple gym shoes or summer shoes
No make-up
No jewelry

That would be a guaranteed adorable outfit and you don't have to look like those creepy trashy pop stars!

So, This Is What I'm Going Through

2009-09-15T00:08:00.003+02:00

I know I shouldn't complain, I have a good life, I'm in fine health, I'm richer than 90 or 95 per cent of the world... And on top of that, I HAVE been through some SERIOUSLY terrible things in life, so I know what suffering is and therefore know that I shouldn't whine about things that aren't really so bad, but I can't help it, in the middle of all the awesome things in my life, I just feel so stressed!

So, here's the deal... I have a billion things to do. Mostly fun and positive things. But billions and millions of them. This makes my mind go chaotic and I pretend I'm a little child with absolutely nothing to do and just sit around and play computer games and watch cartoons, yup, I don't have ANYTHING to do, nothing at all... Just trying to relax my mind a little.

Lately I've been strangely sick... Really tired and stressed out... And for a few weeks now, I've gotten dizzy and nauseated and had stomach aches and head aches. These symptoms have been disappearing quickly the last two days or so, probably because I've made sure to take my iron. You see, I suspect that the symptoms I was having were due to anemia caused by iron deficiency, though I haven't been properly diagnosed with anything, but taking iron seemed to work, anyway.

I'm a bit ashamed to say, though, that I in a way liked the dizziness. It wasn't really a very uncomfortable form of dizziness, like when I got an overdose of a medicine two years ago, no, this dizziness I've had recently was more like... My mind went very cloudy and unfocused and I felt as if though gravity had changed, like I just had to lay down... It really made me relax, even though it was, of course, mildly uncomfortable.

So, about all those things I have to do... Let me make a list!

1. Get an apartment and move together with my boyfriend. Problem is, the ones that are good enough, I can't afford. The ones that aren't good enough, I still can't afford. I guess me and my boyfriend will have to take the time to look at apartments together and buy something that we both choose and both pay for. Of course it will probably take longer, since he lives quite far away from me right now, but it would definitely work out better.

2. Work on my photography. I just love taking photos. First, I take the photos, then I go through them and edit them and decide which ones to keep. Then I put them in a folder and mark it with month and year and number all the photos. Then, I zip the folder, sometimes I have to do several zips and then I upload it to 4shared. Then I upload pics to Flickr, sort them and tag them. Then I upload them to FaceBook, sort them and tag them. Then I upload them to Picasa, sort them, tag them, tag people in the photos and write descriptions. At the same time and basically all the time, I'm taking new photos.

3. I should really go through those poems I've made and save them somewhere and put the right date on them all, while I still remember the date - Or know where it's written down. Problem is, even though I like to keep my art in order, I really don't like going through poems I wrote for previous loves. I prefer to focus on the love I have now, don't want to think of the old ones.

4. I should keep on practicing karate. Honestly, I love karate. It feels like someone hits you over the head with a bag of raw onions and then make you eat them. But also, it's great. Feeling yourself getting into shape, getting stronger, learning how to fight and how to defend yourself... It's just that I'm so damn tired! I haven't practiced karate in some months, first, I was so tired before the vacation, then there was the summer vacation and now that vacation is over and karate has started again... Well, I'm still tired!

5. Work on my modeling. I only do amateur modeling, I prefer it like that. I don't wanna be pushed around, have nasty make-up put on my face, which might be from brands I do not approve, put in clothes I might not like and then not even have any rights to the photos! I just like being photographed.

6. Look pretty. Wear pretty things. For the modeling thing, it's quite necessary to look perfect, as flaws show lots in photos. Also, I always feel so miserable when I have to walk around being just another plain woman. I want to be fabulous! I know I'm not, but I can at least try to keep my appearence alright. This means shower, shave all sortsa parts of my body, brush my teeth, wash my hair, put on pretty clothes, make-up and jewelry, make sure I don't have any spots on my face and that my eyebrows don't get too big and that I don't have any gross little details that you might not think of so much in real life, but that can look terrible in photos - Could be things like that your makeup is slightly uneven or that you have something under your nails.

5. Get a job. Wait, wasn't this all about how I'm too tired to work? I don't even know. I thought one of my big goals was to get an education so I can properly be a kindergarten teacher. It is. Yes. And to go to my work practice which I have stayed home from lately due to being nauseated and dizzy. Yes, I love going there. And I'd love to get an education and get a real job. Also, I would love to just relax and not have to think of stressful things like work or study. Even if it's fun work or fun study. It's still stressful. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but obviously I have to both work and relax my mind from things like work. Yes, these are both very important things, that don't seem to go together very well, unless you work out some really good balance somehow.

6. I wanna do lots of charity and activism! Problem is... Well, I've given lots of money to charity and still do, but it's kinda making me poor... And even though I'd love to work with non-profit activism, I am really much too tired and unfocused. I don't even know how to start, getting in touch with an organisation and everything... I can barely even make pancakes for myself! People remind me of all my talents and skills, but I can't do a simple thing like cook or pay my own bills. I am torn between my own exhaustion and the fact that there are people in this world in serious trouble and that it is not our right to live in luxury, while there are some people starving. I guess I've just become too tired to sacrifice a lot for others. I mean, if I stopped bying pretty dresses and fancy expensive food, surely I could afford giving more to charity. I know that after the horrible things I've gone through in life, I really should be more humble, but at the same time, going through horrible things makes you a bit greedy. Sure, if you know what it is like to be abused by your doctor like I was or heartbroken like I've been, then you know that little things like clothes and things don't really matter so much, but at the same time, when you've been through Hell and you're finally through it, when things are finally alright, abuse is over, heart is healed, no more panic attacks, no more depression... Then you just wanna finally relax after all this time, do the things you could never do when you were scared, the things you never bothered doing when you were unhappy... And don't you, in a way deserve it? Don't I, in a way deserve to have my pretty clothes and my peace and quiet once in a while, after all those years of panic attacks and loneliness before I found my medication and my soulmate? But it is not right to claim you own anything. Not really. That's just a thing people made up. And nothing a person made up can be the ultimate truth. The Earth belongs to everyone and therefore, people have no right living in big houses and eating expensive food while others live on the street or as slaves. But how can we fix all this and at the same time live a life with any kind of quality or joy in it? I mean, surely there would be joy in helping, but if you just spend your life doing things for others, then there would be no opportunity to just do things you love. I mean, say everyone just spends their time buying hockey games for others, no one would actually have the time to play hockey games. Now I'm no fan of hockey games, but maybe you get what I'm talking about at least a little...

7. I would like to have more pets. This is more of a dream than a goal. I am so tired that I even humbly ask my parents to help me care for my snake. And snakes are quite easy to care for. If I had the money, room, time and energy (emphasis on the energy) I would have lots of pets! I would have a pony and some more cats than the two ones I have now... Actually, I met a woman with a very special and strange kitten and she wondered if I wanted to buy it... But I probably won't be able to, too bad because I got quite attached to it! And I am yet to experience the honor of being a spider owner and of being a scorpion owner. Actually, I haven't even had a dog yet!
So many animals, so little time.

8. Spend lots of time with my little cousins Olga and Majken and also Hedvig, who isn't really my cousin, but she's close to the family and feels almost like a cousin to me.

9. I would like to travel lots. I love to travel in Sweden, it never gets old and I would also love to see Ghana and China.

10. I am considered quite a know-it-all and a living encyclopedia. And still, people act judgmental when they learn I didn't even finish high school. That is so offensive, I am intelligent and I have read lots of things, I am not less intelligent because I was too tired and had too many panic attacks to finish high school! Either way, I want to keep on reading and learning lots of things and I want to study and get a proper education, if only I wasn't so tired and unfocused.

11. I want to keep on blogging, though preferably I would have a good blog, which I suppose this is not.

12. I really should, I want to practice my paganism and witchcraft more. Oh, didn't I mention that? Well, I barely do it. I love herbal remedies, auras, spells and rituals, but I'm just... Oh, here it is again, I'm just too disorganized so to speak and too tired to really ever bother... I mean, I do these things sometimes but... Usually there's like six months or two years or whatever in between the times I actually do anything that could be considered paganism... Yeah, that isn't much of a witch, but can you blame me with all this on my mind?

13. Keep in touch with all my friends, which is kinda hard since lots of my friends live far away and don't even log online that often.

14. Try to be active on my internet accounts, well, not too active, I do have like 150 (not kidding) of them. Just make sure that the pictures and presentations and remotely up to date, answer messages, update blogs and that.

15. Well, about two years ago, I started writing down lots of the things that my doctor did to me and pointing out lots of the wrong information she wrote in my medical records, but the project kinda got so big and I got really tired of it, but I really should finish it up before it's too late to sue her.

16. Spend time with my pets and take well care of them. Also, I would like to keep in touch with the cats we've sold. I never wanted to sell them, but I didn't have a say in it, I was a child. Feels like someone took my babies.

17. I would like to do lots of activism for animal rights. Yes, I know I already covered activism, but I seriously wanna give animals the rights they deserve, I started working on this thing, about animal rights, ehm, it's hard to explain, it's a thing I'm writing, I started on it quite a while ago and it's quite exhausting work.

18. I would like to keep on buying beautiful dresses and collecting My Little Ponies. Also, I would like to throw stuff out that I don't need or want.

19. I would like to keep on singing. But I really would like to actually sing well. I suppose that will never happen.

20. Make more flash games. Because it's fun, that's why!

21. I want to learn more skills or take up old skills that I haven't used in a while. Crafting and making things is so cool, but who has the time?

22. I would like to own some nice traditional clothing. Like from different ages and from different countries.

23. I would like to keep on buying awesome things like make-up and shampoos from these cool vegan brands I found. I made a blog entry about them earlier, there are lots of brands that are actually completely vegan and do not test on animals. It's so fun to order from them online!

24. I would like to keep on writing. I have several stories and non-story projects going on, but I just don't know when to work on them, as there are so many things I have to do and it just sets my mind blank.

25. As I mentioned about looking pretty and practicing karate... Well, I have to in general
just keep up my health and hygiene, which is pretty exhausting for me sometimes, 'cause I can go hours without thinking about eating something and I can go days without thinking about taking a shower!

26. Take care of all animals, children, handicapable and homeless people in my life. Of course the ones I have responsibility for, but also ones I do not. If everyone just says "This is not my responsibility", then there will be lots of helpless people and animals that no one takes responsibility for, even though everybody is everybody's responsibility - We have to see everything as our own responsibility to get anything done, we can't just assume someone else is doing something for that specific human or that specific animal! But also, as I said... It's very exhausting to try to do everything for everyone.

27. Try to keep my room clean. And in order. And my clothes well sorted. And go through all those boxes in the basement. And go through my jewelry. Find a place to put all my My Little Ponies. Make all the payments (make my dad make the payments, I mean) for all those cute clothes and My Little Ponies I buy on eBay.

28. Keep my harddrive clean and orderly. Backup my files. Make sure I don't have a virus. If I have a virus, which I seem to have had for the past month or so, get rid of the virus. Get rid of virus by reformatting Windows after backing up like a billion files. Do the same on my mom's computer.

29. Keep on working on my contortion. The thing is, I am more flexible than most and would love to work some more on my flexibility. I just don't know when. It seems I am usually either busy with something or busy sitting and doing nothing while I'm pretending I don't have anything to do.

30. Try to become more independent.

31. Try to actually get some sleep at night and properly get up in the morning, instead of just sitting at the computer at night and staying half asleep in bed until 13:00 or 14:00.

32. Keep on practicing Swedish Sign Language. Maybe take an official course.

33. As I said, make sure skin is perfect. Skin is important. Well, it's important for more reasons than just your looks, but right now I was referring to the fact that real life bad skin looks super-bad in photos.

34. Was that all? Probably not, but it's enough to drive me crazy!

My Favorite Online Games

2009-09-07T23:39:00.001+02:00

I like online games and I decided to make a list of my very favorite ones. Keep in mind, these are my favorites and might not be your favorites, but they're worth a look! Oh by the way, these are all online broswer games, so no need for download on either one of them!

Number One: Pony Island
This is the best online game I've ever played, so addictive! What you do is, you buy, sell, breed, take care of, compete with beautiful ponies of different kinds and colors. Lots of fantasy ponies! There are EarthPonies, FlutterPonies, Pegasi, FairyPonies, Unicorns, SeaPonies, ShellPonies, MerPonies, DragonPonies, WingedUnicorns, PhoenixPonies, Valkyries, KirinPonies, MerDragons, WishingPonies and PurrPonies! So many different ways to play the game - From simply taking care of whatever pony you think is pretty to breeding and selling ponies of pure breed and excellent colors! Forums full of nice people, contests, art, free ponies, ligh hearted conversations and helpful strangers! There's so much to do and so many ways to play the game!

Number Two: ForumWarz
This is so hilarious! Not for people who are easily offended or don't understand internet humor. This is a browser game based on internet culture, in fact, the game is a parody of the internet itself. You start your journey as a re-re and later can choose if you want to be a camwhore, emo kid, hacker, permanoob, re-re or troll in the game. When you play this game, you should keep in mind, this is a roleplaying game with the theme of internet culture, which means that everyone is playing a rude and crude character which may be more or less based on their real selves, but don't be offended on here, people will randomly act annoying and spew out slurs and even personal remarks, but it's all part of the game, the people here aren't evil in real life... Necessarily.

Number Three: Fay
This game is so much fun! Again, another one of those games where there's lots to do and many different ways to play the game - So you won't be stuck being forced to play the game according to a boring pattern which may not suit you, you can choose your own path and play around as you will! So, what you do here is, you can buy or adopt different kinds of fairies and magical creatures which you take care of. The fairies live in a tree, which you also take care of. Except for those basics, there are so many things you can do! You can have your fairies battle, learn spells, they can be good or evil, perform magic, you can equip them with armour, weapons, wands and spells, play with them, give them presents and feed them lots of delicious food! Also, there are fun games to play where you can earn game-money which can be used to buy food and items and there's a great forum with interesting people and just so many things to do!

Number Four: Pony Valley
Another pony game, apparently there is an English version of the game called Pony Star, but I guess I play the French version in the English version... Or something... I mean, I play the French Poney Vallee game and you can choose the language so I play it in English, but for some reason there is also a separate English version called Pony Star... Confusing. Oh, well. So this is another pony game, it's not as good as Pony Island and there aren't at all as many things to do, but it's another game and it's fun too! The story here is slightly different from PonyIsland and the pony breeds are somewhat different as well. The basic pony breeds are Earth, Air, Water, Sacred Fire, Love and Feline. When you have reached a certain level you can get a special Pegasus pony and then if you finish a mysterious quest you can win the very special and mysterious Pony of the Stars!

Number Five: RuneScape
This is a really fun game and it is suitable for different ages. Some of these medieval-or-something-fantasy-warrior-questing RPG's aren't appropriate for children, but children about ten years or older can easily play this game! Well, maybe not easily, I don't know, but I mean, it's designed so that it will fit younger audiences and not just grownups. It's a browser game, so no download needed, you walk around in a 3D world, a huge 3D world, actually and there is so much to do! So many different kinds of quests you can do and skills you can learn. You could try to really focus your character into becoming something very specific, such as a quester or a cook, but it's really not a commitment, you can just walk around and randomly explore the place and quest or learn skills if you feel like it, you won't lose skills in one area if you focus on another area for a while! You can just explore for a while and then go back to questing or learning skills without losing points!

Number Six: BabyDow
Cute and fun game where you raise babies! You start by designing a baby and giving it a name. Later on in the game you might have more babies. The children will grow and learn new things as you give them snuggly plushies, dress them, change their diapers, give them baths, feed them, read them stories, cuddle them, take them out for strolls, give them toys to play with, let them have naps and tuck them into bed at night. The babies' needs will change as they grow older, a newborn baby might drink maternal milk, wear baby clothes, sleep in a baby bed, play with a rattle and go out in a baby stroller, while a two year old child will eat full meals, wear big kid clothes, sleep in a big kid bed... You get the point. Lots of different toys, clothes, food, furniture and stuff to choose between and the game is quite easy to play!

Number Seven: Fuzz Academy
Now this game is just adorable! Environmentally friendly website that will give you tips on how to take better care of the world. It's not political propaganda or anything, it's just an innocent game that also teaches you how to keep the world beautiful and healthy! You start the game by adopting your own ridiculously cute... Or cutely ridiculous? Your own cute and kind of ridiculous looking - In a really really good way - pet. This pet will now join the academy and study there and you can help it study by playing fun learning games! There are lots of games, some very learn-y and some not so learn-y. You can dress your pet up in cool outfits and you can feed it balishus food. This game is really fun and just stupidly adorable! Those animals sure are awesome!

Number Eight: Moshi Monsters
This site is so cute! It's designed to fit younger kids and is a very innocent and childish little monster world. It does somewhat tell children to spend lots of money on it, as some features require real money - Though it's prefectly fun without a pay account - And your little monster does keep telling you things like "Let's go shopping!" or "You know who I miss? The shop keepers, let's go visit them!" Don't be fooled by this, remember, it's just a game and you don't have to pay anything if you don't want to, there are enough fun features in the free version. And you can earn game-money by playing games so you can still buy stuff for your monster! This monster world is really cute and colorful with a "gross" theme. The monsters eat yucky - Or just funny - food, such as the Eyescream Sundae, Sunshine Berries, Roast Beast and Snail Ale. Such a cute game with adorable cartoon monsters!

Number Nine: Pony Academy
Another pony game. Not quite as good as PonyIsland or Pony Valley, but this one is also definitely worth a look, as there are features in this one that aren't in the other game. In this game, you take care of quite regular looking ponies, though they can have funny colors and hairdos, when you take care of them, it's not just pressing a button, you do everything manually, such as brushing them and washing them. It makes it more realistic and is more fun than just pressing a button! All in all there aren't really a whole lot of things you can do in the game, but there are some different things to choose from. The main part and the most fun is just taking care of your ponies, there are some minigames as well and which ones of those you play, I guess it's up to you what you like.

Number Ten: Mystical Willow Grove
This game is quite messy, it seems to be really under construction, the map is like a maze and and there are so many "coming soon" signs all over the place. Still though, I really like the game. I haven't quite figured it out yet, but it's not so important, I suppose. The theme is mystical and interesting and sometimes that is basically enough. You start the game by adopting one or more magical creatures, your familiars. These, you will take care of, but also they will help you in quests and battle with other creatures. There are some interesting places to explore and some mysterious shops were you can buy food for your familiars and other things. As I said, the map is really confusing and the game doesn't really seem finished yet, but it's interesting enough to just adopt beatuiful magical creatures and buy food for them and that.

Signe Robertson's Random Piece Of Advice Number Six

2009-09-01T13:15:00.003+02:00

There are lots of worthless people out there who just want to hurt others, so keep your loved ones safe.

Updates On The Children

2009-08-27T16:10:00.005+02:00

In my last entry, I wrote about the Swedish children who fell out a window in their school, in my community, Järfälla, in Sweden. I am ever-so-slightly acquainted to these kids, I don't know them personally but it still feels so "close", when something like this happens to such young kids and so nearby. But for all people with children - Or just a nurturing mind, like me - It can feel almost like it's your own kid even if it happens miles away.

Filip Pieczka, 7 years old

Filip is at hospital being treated for a skull injury. He had a small bleeding in his brain, but he's gonna be fine. The boy doesn't remember anything of his accident at the moment. He longs home to his Playstation and says he wants to change schools and only study on the ground floor in the future.

Samira Hassan, 6 years old

Samira got the worst injuries of all three children. She's had surgery on several parts of her body, such as her hips, head and liver. She still has more treatment to go through, but she's gonna live. Last news I read about her is that she is still anesthetized, waiting for more surgery, but that she's shown signs of recovery by moving her legs a little.

Ayub Aden, 5 years old

This miracle boy was lucky enough to escape without any injury! He's still under observation in the hospital, but all seems well with him and he longs back to school, in spite of what happened.

Three Children Injured After Falling Out Window

2009-08-26T15:50:00.006+02:00

There's been an accident here in Sweden, in the community I live, at a school in walking distance from the pre-school where I work. Monday, the 24th, as class was over at Aspnässkolan in Järfälla, three children, aged five, six and seven sat leaning against a window with a pillow behind. The windows suddenly sprung open and before anyone could intervene, they fell eight meters (twenty-six feet) and hit the hard asphalt ground.

Ardo Nur Ahmed, 35 was walking to school to get her six year old daughter, Samira, home. Their family fled to Sweden from Somalia earlier this year and all summer, Samira had been excited about starting school. Thursday, the 20th was her first day. When Ardo arrived at school Monday, to get her daughter, Samira wasn't waiting at the usual place. There was a gathering of people nearby, so Ardo rushed there and saw her daughter and two boys laying on the ground. The boys were screaming and crying but Samira appeared completely lifeless.

"I rushed up to her, feeling her heart and her pulse. She was gone. No sensation, no reaction, nothing. Can you understand? I thought she was dead." Samira's mother Ardo said, crying, to Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet. "This just shouldn't be able to happen. Not at a school. Not in Sweden."

Samira is now treated for severe, but not life-threatening injuries at a hospital and the boys are treated for less severe injuries. As I live nearby and am very fond of children, I of course feel worried for these children and I hope that everything turns out fine. The families of the children must be going through such a nightmare, at the same time as they are happy the children are alive.

Samira, six years old is badly injured after falling out a window.

Signe Robertson's Random Piece Of Advice Number Five

2009-08-25T15:23:00.003+02:00

Embrace your childish side: If you suddenly feel like buying My Little Ponies or children's movies, that doesn't mean you are immature, sometimes you just need to tend to the childlike part of who you are, it's a part of you always, even though some might have a more dominant childlike side than others. Sometimes, it's temporary also, sometimes you need to play with dolls and dress childishly for a few days and then you don't need it for a few months. Just don't be scared of your youthful side, whether it's dominant or subtle, constant or just shows once in a while! Also, pets are great to have, but make sure to not buy more pets than you can handle. The initial price, when buying an animal, is usually the least problem, as you only pay for that once, but the taking care of the animal, feeding, playing, cleaning cages, changing water bowls and so on, requires TIME, ENERGY and MONEY and this isn't just a one time thing, but for all the animal's life or until you sell it further, if you choose to do that, but I'd say, if you don't intend to keep the pet, don't buy it, it might be hard to resell and you never know what kind of people are going to buy your pet. Another important thing: If somebody - or something - is really important and precious to you, hold on to them.

Signe Robertson's Random Piece Of Advice Number Four

2009-08-14T21:21:00.003+02:00

As clothes will make you very happy, make sure to buy lots of clothes, make lots of clothes, ask where that box of grandma's old, pretty dresses was really put and so on. Also, horses are awesome, you should totally get one.

Some Recent Photos

2009-08-12T22:07:00.007+02:00

I have taken sooo many photos lately and had so many photos taken on me that I haven't really had the time to post any. I still don't have the photos my boyfriend took of me, but I've finished going through all the photos I've taken and the photos my parents took of me. Here is a very brief photographic summary of July - today.

A photo I took in Wales, where I spent time with my boyfriend

A photo I took in the South of Sweden

Another photo I took in the South of Sweden

A photo I took of my aunt and cousins, just a few days ago

A photo my mom took of me today

My Newest Purchases

2009-08-11T03:22:00.003+02:00

I know I should be sleeping, but I can't sleep, so I thought I was gonna tell you about the latest shopping spree I had, which was yesterday! (or today if you see it that way)

I bought a present for Olga, but it's a secret for now

And for me I bought:
Two pairs of white knee socks with lace and bows, from Phaze
A pair of black velvet Mary Janes (girly shoes) from Demonia
A pair of bloody meat axe earrings
A pair of strawberry cupcake earrings
(Note: I've never used a meat axe and I have never eaten a cupcake, the earrings are more like symbols, like "dark" and "sweet")
A white cotton top, which was probably sewn by a teenage girl named Siri in the 1920's (the name Siri is embroided on it and the size seems to be for a teen or a very thin young woman, as myself)
A white petticoat (Vintage, but I forgot to ask the decade)
A white vintage apron

Also, I would like to say... I know I should have written this in my blog long ago, but it just feels like such a sad subject... One of my cats died in June. I miss her so much. She had kidney failure. It was one of my oldest cats (Yuffie), she was eleven years old.

Link Post: Language And Communication

2009-08-09T23:41:00.004+02:00

In this linky special I'm gonna offer you some... Links. Links about language, communication, names and similar things!

Engrish

Funny Name

The Voices of Many - Translate a piece of text into various dialects

Funny Typos

English Fail Blog

Bureau of Communication - Because you shouldn't have to do all this on your own!

Behind the Name

Hanzi Smatter - Dedicated to the misuse of Chinese characters

July

2009-08-08T17:54:00.002+02:00

Maybe you noticed there wasn't a summary for July. Well, that's because I still haven't finished going through my July photos and also I just didn't feel like searching the interwebs for news and stuff... Bleh.

Now That I'm Feeling Good, I'm Feeling Bad

2009-08-07T02:31:00.002+02:00

I used to feel really bad all the time, I was lonely, had lots of mental problems and just generally hated life. Now I feel great, I have an amazing best friend slash boyfriend and my mental problems are really basically gone. But now that I feel good, I also feel kind of bad again and I feel kind of bad about that because I am really feeling good.

When I was feeling bad for real, I really felt bad, but now I really feel good, happy, in love, no mental problems and still I feel bad and I feel bad about that. Now that I'm happy, I still feel somewhat "uncomfortable" a lot of the time, because I keep being really tired, yet restless and really warm, sometimes itchy, back ache, quite bad tourettes, problems sleeping and generally feel like I have a slight cold a lot of the time.

But I feel a bit bad about feeling bad because I'm really feeling good and I don't want to seem spoiled by feeling bad when I feel good because I really know what it's like to really feel bad and I know that there are people in the world who still really feel bad and I don't wanna seem disrespectful.

Lolita Clothes And Other Cool Stuff You Can Buy Online

2009-08-04T20:49:00.002+02:00

Due to the popular interest in and my new fascination of lolita fashion, I have put together a list of some of the very best sites for buying lolita clothes. I have sorted them by price, the "USD 50>" means that the very cheapest lolita dress on this site costs 50 dollars. So, in other words, they are sorted after the cheapest lolita dress and you cannot expect all dresses to be as cheap, but you might find a bargain! Are you a little more picky about getting the dress that is just right for you, you may have to spend a little more, but it might be worth it, it is really up to you. The links marked with "lolita fashion" are websites specified in just that, while the ones marked with "alternative fashion" have many other cool things besides lolita clothes.

Keep in mind that fashion websites might not be appropriate for children or workplaces, due to possible "mature" themes and the fact that you're not paid to surf the web. (Unless you are)

USD 50> Phaze Clothing ALTERNATIVE FASHION
USD 55> Fan Plus Friend ALTERNATIVE FASHION
USD 60> Anna House Fashion LOLITA FASHION
USD 60> Clothing Drop LOLITA FASHION
USD 65> Dream Shoppe LOLITA FASHION
USD 65> Gothic and Lolita Bible LOLITA FASHION
USD 70> Closet Child LOLITA FASHION
USD 75> Candy Fruit MAID FASHION
USD 75> Drac in a Box GOTHIC FASHION
USD 85> Odium Clothing ALTERNATIVE FASHION
USD 85> Queen Of Darkness ALTERNATIVE FASHION
USD 95> Ergi LOLITA FASHION
USD 95> In the Starlight LOLITA FASHION
USD 125> Lady Heather's Fashions ALTERNATIVE FASHION
USD 135> Black Swan ALTERNATIVE FASHION
USD 135> Rakuen Fashion LOLITA FASHION
USD 150> Candy Violet LOLITA FASHION
USD 170> Sweet Rococo LOLITA FASHION
USD 180> MFashion LOLITA FASHION
USD 205> Metamorphose LOLITA FASHION
USD 230> Milky Ange LOLITA FASHION
USD 250> Angelic Pretty LOLITA FASHION
USD 250> Baby The Stars Shine Bright LOLITA FASHION

This website might be helpful for those who want to learn about lolita fashion:
Lolita Fashion

Here are some other online shops that are really cool!

Clothes:
Kinky Angel ALTERNATIVE FASHION
Lip Service ALTERNATIVE FASHION
X-Tra-X ALTERNATIVE FASHION
Asylum 7 CORSETS
Aubade LINGERIE
Honey Dew Intimates LINGERIE
Honour LINGERIE
Leg Avenue LINGERIE
Antique Dress VINTAGE FASHION

Witchcraft supplies:
New Moon
Lady Hawk's Treasures

Eerie or gothic collectibles:
Madame Talbot
The Nautilus
Teardrop Memories

And last, but not least, don't forget you can make great deals at eBay!

Signe Robertson's Random Piece Of Advice Number Three

2009-07-19T13:23:00.003+02:00

If you truly love somebody, stick with them no matter what and I mean no matter what! If his parents hate you, if your parents hate him, if he becomes paralyzed waist down or has to amputate both legs. If you truly love somebody you would be there for them no matter what.

Signe Robertson's Random Piece Of Advice Number Two

2009-07-15T18:07:00.005+02:00

Stay away from places where you might get raped or shot. Buy or breed many kittens. Spend a lot of time in vintage clothes stores. Clothes are so much fun. There's gothic clothes, sweet lolita clothes, long gowns, cute school girl type outfits... Clothes are amazing!

Signe Robertson's Random Piece Of Advice Number One

2009-07-11T11:44:00.003+02:00

Experiment lots with photography and other types of fun art. Study if you like to learn things and get a good education. If you have crippling problems focusing, then don't study. Don't whine about these problems, instead calmly inform people of what they're like to live with, so they can understand a little better. Do lots of fun things with your best friends. Try out new fun types of food.

By the way, I'm still in Wales with my boyfriend whom I love sooo much and I am sooo happy!

Wales

2009-07-04T15:24:00.001+02:00

I'm off to Wales tomorrow... I won't be computerating in Wales, maybe check e-mail once in a while, I guess.

eBay Fun!

2009-06-30T11:18:00.005+02:00

Hey guys! It's sooo much fun to browse eBay for clothes! I don't buy clothes from eBay, because of the shipping costs, the fact that you can't try the clothes on, look at them in real life first or take them home with you just the moment you buy them and all the stuff like that! Anyway, it's so much fun to browse there, 'cause you never know what you can find! Here are some pieces that caught my eye!

[Link to seller here]

Summary of June 2009

2009-06-27T18:50:00.010+02:00

The best photo I took this month

Best CRACKED posts of the month

5 Diabolical Animals That Out-Witted Humans

The 7 Most Bizarrely Unlucky People Who Ever Lived

6 Real Islands Way More Terrifying Than The One On 'Lost'

The 6 Most Terrifying Medical Malpractice Cases Ever

What Pets Are Doing When We're Not Around

Why I Was Late For Work Today: 22 (Photoshopped) Excuses

The 5 Most Hated Creatures On The Planet (Don't Deserve It)

24,504 Worst Pieces of Advice Ever Published

What The Fuck Happened To TV?

Biggest news stories of the month

Me and my amazing boyfriend spend (amazing) time together

Michael Jackson dies at age 50

Best LOLpics of the month

Life Is Good

2009-06-02T15:08:00.002+02:00

I am happy

Summary Of May 2009

2009-05-29T21:48:00.005+02:00

The Best Photo I Took This Month

The Best CRACKED Posts This Month

What if Kanye West is Retarded?

12 Bizarre True Stories Behind Famous Band Names

5 Pieces of Junk That Turned Out To Be Invaluable Artifacts

The Most Important News Stories Of This Month

My Best Friend/Boyfriend Is Coming To Visit Me

Some Space Stuff

Former South Korean President Commits Suicide

Best LOLpic Of Teh Monf

Diamanda Galás Concert

2009-05-06T12:40:00.003+02:00

The Diamanda Galás Concert yesterday was great. She was singing so loud and shaking and moving around in her chair, it's the kind of music that can only be made very passionately, it's hard to keep still, because it makes you go out of control. She pounded that piano like she was murdering it, she actually even broke a key.

Everybody in the audience loved it, of course. People clapped their hands and stomped their feet and whistled and woo'd. She did some different songs, in some different languages. Her voice was perfect, of course. It ranges three and a half octaves. I'm no expert on these terms, but basically, she can scream pretty dang loud.

She looked fabulous, of course, at age 53, long black kinda messy looking hair, long black dress with some frills on it. She performed each and every song completely perfectly, not a single mistake in her voice. I love her music because it's so passionate. It can be about passionate sex, passionate love, passionate heartbreak or passionate disgust, it doesn't matter, all in all, passion is all the same.

In other news...

...My practice at the kindergarten is going great! I have lots of favorites, in fact, I think basically every child there is my favorite, but in a different way. Some children are just cuddlier than others, some are just cuter than others, some just need a lot of special attention and some just remind me of someone I know... So they're all special to me and they all have their unique qualities.

...I think my dad had a birthday recently. Oh, yes, he turned 57 the day before yesterday. I wonder if he got any presents.

...On the 21st I'll go on karate camp. It will mostly be younger kids there, I think, but whatever, it seems fun, sure, why not?

...On the 30th, my darling Fruppy is coming here. I love him so much. There are no two people closer than me and him.

...And Jackie, my darling, I will always love you, but I can't keep dreaming about being with somebody who will never love me. I miss you so much.

Summary Of April 2009

2009-04-30T16:57:00.009+02:00

Best Photo I Took This Month

Most Important News Story Of The Month

Swine Flu Break-Out

Best CRACKED posts of the month

The 10 Coolest Foreign Words The English Language Needs

5 Responsible Ways To Mock Everything

17 More Images You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped

10 Great Books For (Traumatizing) Children

Best LOLpics of the month

I Got A Cold

2009-04-28T16:06:00.002+02:00

It's what you get when you start working at a kindergarten.

Damn I'm So Tired

2009-04-22T23:02:00.000+02:00

My life sure is boring

I Have No Idea What's Gonna Happen

2009-04-21T20:02:00.004+02:00

Still really worried about Jackie not contacting me. I would have loved her. I would have given her everything. She lead me on and dumped me. Said we were best friends and ignored me. It hurts so much I can barely think of her. My best friend really comforts me though. Thinking of him doesn't hurt at all. It just makes me happy.

Maybe I'll even fall in love with him...

...I have no idea what's gonna happen in my life now. Peace and love.

Yesterday Was A Fun Day

2009-04-20T11:02:00.006+02:00

Yesterday was a fun day... We had a party for me and Majken, since I turned 20 on the 16th and Majken turned 1 on the 17th. So, I went up, took a shower, washed my hair and went downstairs to eat my lunch. That's when I noticed there was a butterfly trapped in the window, between the layers of glass.

Butterfly on my finger

I asked my father to open up so I could rescue the butterfly. It seemed a bit weak from the lack of oxygen, also, it seemed to be a young one. I took it out and it just sat on my finger. After a while it got more energy and fluttered a bit with its wings, walking around on me. When it tried to fly, though, it only landed on the ground, it couldn't stay in the air for long.

Butterfly in my hair

Either way, I was in a hurry, so as much as I wanted to stay to make sure the butterfly learned to fly properly, I had to go and eat my lunch and wrap my presents for Majken, so I put the butterfly down on some flowers in a flower pot. I quickly finished my lunch and I wrapped up the gifts for Majken and then we went to the party.

Butterfly on my hand

It was the awesomest party ever. The kids were completely out of control! I joked "If we close our eyes we can pretend they aren't this wild." It was Ebba, 7, Olga, 3, Tora, 3, Nils, 2, Iris, 1 and Majken, 1. Hedvig was unfortunately not there, she is on vacation so she couldn't come. Damn, I love all these kids.

Ebba, Majken and a doll

Ebba was the only one who was remotely calm. She was so sweet to the little kids. I could tell that Majken felt really safe with her. Olga and Tora were of course totally out of control, doing everything that they're not supposed to do. They're tough to deal with, but I love them so much. Nils was pretty wild too, he pretty much followed Olga and Tora and wanted to do everything they did!

Nils

Iris and Majken are a bit too small to be completely out of control, but a little out of control, they were. Iris pushed a doll stroller around the little apartment like crazy, while Majken was eagerly trying out her new walking skills by walking around, quite quickly, all over the place. The children did fight some, but they were remotely friendly with each other.

Iris

I'm really worried about Jackie. To lead me on and then just dump me, that's hurtful, but to say we are best friends and then block me from contacting her, that's cruel. Thinking of my best friend Frups makes it all better. He comforts me so much. Always has. I love you so much Frupsy.

Me, photo by my father. All other photos in this entry are by me.

Happy Birthday Louis!

2009-04-18T10:43:00.006+02:00

One of my awesomest friends ever, Louis, turns 28 today! Big boy! Happy birthday and I hope all your dreams come true!

For privacy reasons I won't post a photo of the gorgeous Louis here, but here is an illustration of what he looks like!

(In other words, he's awesome)

Eerie Esthetics

2009-04-13T01:03:00.002+02:00

I've started a forum at http://eerieesthetics.aceboard.com/ for people who like spooky art

Summary Of March 2009

2009-03-31T20:02:00.003+02:00

The best photo I took this month

Best CRACKED post of the month
7 Terrifying Creatures You'll Never See Coming

Most important news story of the month
Josef Fritzl is going to jail

Best LOLpics of the month
1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

LOLpics from I Can Has Cheezburger?

Some New Poems By Me

2009-03-25T14:04:00.001+01:00

2009-02-19 BREAK ME NOW

Tell me, if I left you

Would you find somebody else?

If we never even met

Would you fall for another girl?

Before you knew me

Did you believe in love?

Would you try this out

And move on if it would fail?

Break me now - I am not what you need!

----

WHAT DO YOU FEEL?

What do you feel?

Who do you love?

Does each person you know

Remind you of a song?

Who do you need?

Who means the most?

Why are you afraid?

What can you do?

Will you scare away love

Or love away fear?

Of all the people you know

Who do you need

To be close to?

----

22 NOT AS GOOD AS YOU

A lonely girl as I

No one would notice

If she's alive

There are people that are quiet

And still attract a crowd

I could scream

At the top of my lungs

And no one would even notice I'm alive

No one sees I'm alive

Even though I try

I want to be a part of your life

I want to matter for something

I don't want to live

In a world where I

Am the only one

Trapped inside a box

Where I can see you

On the outside

Walking by

Not noticing

I am here

Locked inside

Have you looked enough?

Have you searched all around?

Why would you?

It's not what you need!

You don't need to find me

But I need you to

I want to be noticed

By you!

Break this box!

Let me outside!

Please, somebody

Tell me I'm alive!

I don't want to be

The only one

Who can see me

I don't even want to see me

I want you to see me!

As of now

There's not much to do

I spend my time crying

I don't have much more to do

So my time is spent crying

There aren't enough good things

Good things

Like you

You might be too good

Too good

To be true

You're way out of my league

So much better

Than I'll ever be

What could I possibly give you?

You have popularity

Talent, looks and a brain

What could I give you?

I'm just a burden on you!

I just whine about my worries

And rant about my fears

But how can I help it?

I just want you

To see

I'm alive!

I'm just afraid

Because I know

In the end

You'll do like everyone else

And desert me

Please don't

I just want you

To see that I'm alive

I'm a pathetic and ugly

Whiny and desperate

Little girl

But all that I want

Is to be a part of who you are

A part of your thoughts

Your feelings

Your heart

We both know

I'm not as good as you

And in the end

You'll do like everyone else

And desert me

It would be the sane thing to do

I'm just not as good

Not as good as you

----

26 RIDICULOUSLY STUPIDLY

Do you even notice I'm alive?

I just want to belong to you!

But you're out of my league

So perfect in every way

All the love songs remind me of you

You make my heart pound

I don't want you because you turn me on

You turn me on because I want you!

And you turn me on badly

But you can't need me all that desperately

You don't even need to talk to me every day

But I desperately

Humbly

Ridiculously

Stupidly need

Only you

----

28 ONE LAST GOODBYE

I just want to give you

One last goodbye

Soon, I will surely die

But not without this goodbye

If I end it all

Or die by mistake

Who will bid farewell

To all those I love?

I will

Right now

I cannot leave you without

This last goodbye

I put my finger in the snow

And wrote your name in cursive

The snow was cold, but looked much better

With your name written in it

When you were a stranger

You reached out for my hand

And ended up stealing my heart

Now it is yours, forever

You said "I want you to know me"

But now, somebody knows you more

My love, if I die, I will not leave without

This last goodbye

I got to be closer

Than anyone else

To the most beautiful girl

In the entire world

It was such a quick moment

And now already gone

Somebody won your heart

And I lost

The one you think about

As you fall asleep at night

Is someone else

Not me

Now all I can give you is

One last goodbye

Before I go

Before I die

I need you every second

Do you even need me every day?

What I promised meant nothing

Next to promises from someone else

I might be silly, you might be a stranger

But you reached out to me

Through the crowd

As if we were the only ones

My heart was already broken

By a man who was like a flame

Heating up a cold night

The only light in sight

Now you broke my heart

My lovely, beautiful girl

Like the colors in the sky at sunset

You are sweeter than a flame in the night

But I suppose this beauty

Is only here to taunt me

Show me what I cannot have

And break me down to pieces

It works, but remember

I love you either way

Every night and every day

I love you!

You were perfect for me

But someone else was perfect for you

When you had finally healed my heart

It died while in your hands

Like a baby bird

You tried to save

But failed

Or did you let it die?

Now all I can give you is

One last goodbye

Before I go

Before I die

Admiration, adoration

Affection, attraction

Desire, devotion

Passion

Take these words, my love

Turn them a billion times stronger

For all eternity

This is what I leave for you!

Yes, I leave you now, my dear

With the strongest of love and affection

As I go in the opposite direction

To the darkest pit of solitude and despair

Whenever I die and how

I will always love you

And will not leave you without

This last goodbye

Burn my body to ashes

Spread them out to sea

A Christian funeral

Is not for me

You showed up from nowhere and saved me

Then broke me and left me for dead

Soon, I will surely die

This is my last goodbye

----

03-04 JEALOUS

I know I'm a selfish bitch

I don't want anyone

To even look your way

'Cause it makes me wanna puke

It makes me wanna throw up

Whenever you mention his name

I'm jealous 'til I'm sick

And then I'm jealous again

You said you couldn't ask

For anything but me

But you did and you got it

Now are you happy?

I was number one

For such a short while

Now he's on your mind

And I'll be jealous 'til I die

----

16 SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN

When you hurt an angel

And make her want to cut off her wings

And make her forget about the love

And focus on the fear

You earned yourself the worst

You sent yourself to Hell

Watch your back

Expect us

We will be there

Wherever you turn

There will be a soldier

A fighter

One of our kind

If you slip up again

Karma will get you

So you better sleep

With one eye open

For each time

You hit her

May huge rocks fall unto your head

For each time

You said a harsh word

May you be laughed at, spat at

Taunted and cursed

Expect us

Sleep with one eye open

When you've done the worst

Karma stands behind the corner

If you hurt her once

I will hurt you thrice

If you make her want to die

I will take your life

When you have the most beautiful one

And make her want to die

That's a proof

You fucking failed at life!

Remove yourself

Remove yourself from us

Isolate yourself

In a dark cave somewhere

You better wish

You better hope

No one speaks to you again

Karma waits around the corner

So you better sleep with one eye open

----

20 GIRLS' NIGHT OUT

I'll forgive you

If you forgive me

Stop blaming you

And I'll stop blaming me

Let's put the blame

On the stupid boys

They're all out of town

It's girls' night out

And I want you to be mine

No, I won't hold you hostage

You will still be free

But if I let you run wild

Would you run home to me?

See, I won't keep you captive

Like a bird in a cage

No, I'll be the baby bird

Weak in your hands

I give myself to you

My heart, my body, my spirit

My soul

For you to experience

To love, kiss and hold

I held you too loosely

Made you feel second best

Then you ran away

And my heart was broken next

Now I want you back

And please don't run away

No, my darling Jack

This time I need you to stay

We've both made mistakes

They're all in the past

We are free now

Could we make it last?

The future is open

Like an unwritten book

No stress and no pressure

No force and no tears

I'll just say if you need me

I'll belong to only you

Because I need to be loved

And I know you do too

The boys are out of town

Now it's girls' night out

Now I'm yours - Baby, turn off the lights!

----

24 WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?

I fell in love with a boy

And he broke my heart

Then along came a girl

Who noticed I'm alive

And I noticed her

I fell out of love

And fell in love with a girl

Who fell in love with a boy

And broke my heart

Now what should I think?

What do you want from me?

Am I your friend

Your girlfriend

A sex fantasy

Or merely a toy?

What am I now doing wrong?

I have many flaws

I make so many mistakes

I'm lazy and whiny

Clingy and mean

But I try my best

I just need someone to love

Do I fall in love too much?

I only fell in love twice

Did I fall for you too quickly?

Or not soon enough?

Do I hold you too tight?

Or not tight enough?

What do you feel now?

What do you need?

I'm just a human

Just trying my best

I don't want things to be

Too quick or too slow

Too close or too distant

I just fell for you

And I know you fell for me

And so what if we're silly?

So what if it's soon?

What are we waiting for?

What do we fear?

I just know

That I wish you were here

I need to see your smile

I need to see you happy - It means so much to me!

----

25 DELICIOUS CURVES

Delicious curves

Beautiful, gray eyes

Kissable lips

And a lovely smile

Sensual hands

A seductive stare

Pretty teeth that show

Everytime you laugh

Everytime I see you

I just want more

No, it's never enough

Once I've seen you smile

Your sweet words

Calm my spirits

And make me glad to be alive

But my heart, it raises

You make me feel afraid

Afraid of being in love

But even more:

Afraid of losing you

Afraid of you being

Someone else's girl

When you know that my heart

Belongs to only you

You're too good to be true

Yes, there's nobody else like you!

The mysterious gaze

Hides a quirky mind

So full of humility

And love for everyone

Your soul is full of passion

You're making art all the time

Fantastic creations

That you thought up inside

My friend, you reached for my hand

But pierced right through my soul

You left a part of you there

A pain, a pleasure, a need

A temptation

Fascination

That just will never end

I'll always be your friend

I'll run away with you

Where there's no fear, only love

And I will make you happy - And kiss away the tears!

So, You're New To The Internet

2009-03-23T15:19:00.006+01:00

So, you've just got on the internet for the first time ever and you don't know where to start? Well, then here's the guide for you. Whether you're young or old, whether it's your first time on the internet or you just need to catch up: Here are all the sites you need to visit.

4chan - This is the place where all the internet trends start, where all the creeps hide, where all those things happen that people laugh about and make you feel like an outsider and they go all "Oh, you should've been there!" (Use strong caution on this site)

4shared - I find this place great, instead of making those backup disks and shit, I like to upload my files to the internet so they don't get lost, on 4shared you get lots of storage and you can upload most file types!

Apple - Go to this site and download Safari. It's a much better browser than Internet Explorer. Internet Explorer is known to be evil and for stupid people. OK, maybe not, but Safari works much better. There are some other things you can download from Apple as well, if you're into that. (No, it's NOT porn)

AVG - Go here to download their free anti-virus program. I don't know if it works or not, because I haven't got any viruses at the moment, but either way, I find that AVG is much less annoying than most other programs.

Facebook - Everybody has Facebook. Ev. Ree. Boh. Dee. Everybody. If you don't, people will pick on you. Your grandma even has Facebook! It's a great place to quickly keep in touch with basically everyone you know or are even remotely acquainted to.

Firefox - Go here. Download the Firefox browser. Why?, you ask. I've already downloaded the Safari browser, you say. Well, for some reason some websites don't work if you use Safari. Use Safari as your main browser and use Firefox on those websites that aren't cool enough to work on Safari.

Flickr - Go here. If you're a photographer, upload your photos here. It's really easy to register if you already have a Yahoo! e-mail address. (See below) This is one of the most popular photo sharing communities and quite easy to use.

Google - This is the god of the internet. Here is where you go, whenever you have something to search for. Google has a lot of other services besides being a search engine. Use as many of those services as you like, you'll only need to register one account.

Hotmail - Get an account here. They have a whole bunch of services, most of them slightly inferior to both Google and Yahoo! (See below), but it's always good to have a Hotmail, everyone has one and don't forget to download Windows Live Messenger, you can use your Hotmail address (and some other addresses too) on there!

Lime Wire - Go here. Download Lime Wire. Why?, you ask. I've only downloaded two browsers even though I already had one, you say. Well, Lime Wire isn't a browser. It's the program you use to download all the cool music and comedy shows you like.

Miniclip - This is the biggest online game website... Online. They have a nice sortiment of different kind of Flash-games. Good place to go when you are bored. Some games are very addictive, some are just boring.

Photobucket - This is another photo sharing site. I think it's good to keep your works on several sites, so you don't lose it. Also, Flickr and Photobucket have such different perks. They are good for different things, so I prefer to use both.

Wikipedia - Here is where you go to learn stuff. They have articles here about pretty much everything, so there's pretty much to read. They also link to some other cool Wikimedia projects. Of those, I recommend Commons.

Yahoo! - See, this is the website I mentioned on the "Flickr" introduction. If you have a Yahoo! account you can easily use that for Flickr. Yahoo has a bunch of other things as well. Look around, it's a big website.

YouTube - Don't register! Just use your Google account. I told you the Google account covers many services. Well, YouTube is one of those. Here, you can find a lot of short videos of different kinds and upload your own!

That's it: You're good to go! I think you'll find all the other parts of the internet on your own now... Or at least the parts you WANT to find!

This Is My Theory

2009-03-22T08:43:00.003+01:00

In the beginning, there was only Ceiling Cat and Flying Spaghetti Monster. They fall in love and have a gay wedding. Then they have babies. Their son, Awesome Face, is the king of all awesome and their daughter, Longcat, is the queen of looong. This is my theory, you must now worship these deities.

Lazy Town

2009-03-21T08:24:00.001+01:00

I've just discovered Lazy Town and I think I worship it

"If I Survive Anorexia, Does That Mean I'm Fat?"

2009-03-19T21:57:00.006+01:00

So, I was thinking of all these beauty standards and that. A dear friend of mine, who is, by the way, very attractive, complains about being "fat". I personally think she is very good-looking and it would upset me if anyone made her feel unattractive. Being a few pounds over-weight doesn't make you fat, it doesn't make you unattractive and it doesn't mean you have to go on a diet, unless you want to, in order to improve your health, of course.

I checked out some modeling agencies and most of them don't have a plus size category, but some do and the models in those categories are special - Because they're not anorexic! Here are a few pictures that I found in the "Big Beauties"/"Plus Size" categories of various modeling agencies. And these are only a few!

"OMG! I survived anorexia! This must mean I'm fat!"

Yes, these photos were all found under the category "Big Beauties", because, apparently, these girls are TOO FAT and have TOO BIG BOOBS and TOO BIG ASSES to be considered REAL models and therefore have to be considered BIG models.

If you keep categorizing skinny girls as "big", of course you will make beautiful girls think they're fat, you idiots!

Public Domain Photos - Really Amazing Ones

2009-03-07T23:36:00.004+01:00

Sometimes I like to browse the internet for nice Public Domain photos to save, in case I want to use them later for something, say a photo-manip. Then it is very good to have some simple and clear shots - But sometimes I just come across some photos that might not contribute to much in art - But that are more like pieces of art in themselves.

Here are some of my very favorites of the photos I've found!

This photo is famous and very painful... These are scars on a slave's back.

These are the conjoined twin girls Millie and Christine

Here are some general vintage child photos

Wow

2009-03-04T20:03:00.003+01:00

Life sure sucks. Oh and I've had panic attacks on February 28, March 1, 2 and 3... After not having panic attacks since 2007!

Summary Of February 2009

2009-02-28T20:07:00.001+01:00

The best photo I took this month

Most important news story of the month

Australia suffers terrible bush fires

Best CRACKED posts of the month

1. Remember Your First Cup Of Coffee?

2. Ever Wonder What Happens After You Leave Work?

3. If You Could Call Your Past On The Phone

4. Inside The Inboxes Of 15 Fictional Villains

5. Going Green Is The Only Way To Stop Zombies

Best LOLpics of the month

LOLpics from

I Can Has Cheezburger?

ROFL Razzi

Posters

2009-02-23T03:31:00.005+01:00

I got around to making some posters... All original photos by me of course, it's more fun that way!

A Few Mixed Links

2009-02-20T00:47:00.003+01:00

Hide your internet identity (click) or get more traffic for your blog or web page (click)

Make great digital art for free, without registration or downloads (click)

Get a completely random recipe (click)

There's No Hope At All - My Newest Poems

2009-02-18T21:59:00.004+01:00

2009-02-10 THERE'S NO HOPE AT ALL

I know what love is

It's a burning Hell

Hands that you will never touch

A feeling that will never be enough

Someone you can't be with

Even though you wish you could

Someone too gorgeous for words

And you don't even care how they look

It's weird how people think

Saying death is such a terrible thing

Have you ever tried being alive?

It hurts more than you can believe!

If you kill or physically abuse

You'll go to prison, but what about those

Who kill someone from the inside out?

Starting with the soul, where it hurts the most

I know I'm an idiot

You know that it's true

I'm just a plain girl

And probably uglier than you

When I was little

I wasn't much better

I just longed for something

To make it all matter

But now that I've grown up

Now that I'm older

I finally know

There's just nothing to find - There's no hope at all!

----

THE PERFECT WORDS

I wanted to write you a poem

But the words just weren't enough

When I tried to find the flower

To compare to your beautiful skin

The flowers hid away

Because they knew

They could never win

I tried to find an adjective

To describe the look in your eyes

But what word could be enough

To describe those eyes

When they are so sad

And so beautiful

And so lonely

And so perfect

All at once?

What species of butterfly

Should I say flies within me?

I tried to look it up

But the butterflies of love

And desire

That are still invisible

And can manage to live inside of you

Well... My encyclopedia

Doesn't even mention they exist!

I looked for the perfect words

I wanted to say to you

I found only a few

But how do I turn them into a sentence?

Love

Sad

Comfort

Belong

Beautiful

Exciting

Kiss

Touch

Happy

Now those are the words

But how do I put them in a sentence?

Well, if I would draw you a picture

You wouldn't understand a thing

No colors and shapes could be enough

To describe what I feel about you

You are just too good to be true

----

2009-02-11 MY HEART

I gave you my heart

Now please give it back

I want to give it to someone else

What is this?

This is broken and torn

It's molten and old

This is not the heart I gave you

I gave you a fresh one

Young and full of hope

Full of love and desire

Now you leave it back to me

In this condition

Who's gonna want it now?

Fix it up for me

Heal it

So someone might want it again

----

2009-02-18 WILL I EVER BE ENOUGH?

If you met another girl

One from your neighborhood

Would you give me up

Or am I really enough?

Am I what you use

Until you find what you need?

What you throw out

When you find what you'll keep?

If I made love to you

Throughout the night

Could I please you enough?

Will you ever be satisfied?

Am I pretty enough?

For a goddess like you

If I was ugly

Would you leave me?

I have nothing to give you!

Nothing besides love

Can that be enough?

Or do you need more?

If I tell you I love you

You beautiful girl

Would you rather hear the words

From someone else but me?

If I couldn't offer money

Or sex or food or shelter

Would you still every night

Lay down by my side?

And would you still tell me

That you are only mine

And belong to no one else

But me?

Is this distance enough

To break up me and you?

Is any distance that far?

I hope the answer's "No!"

When you go to bed at night

Who do you think about?

Whose hands do you imagine

All over your perfect skin?

And whose name do you whisper

Silently in the night?

I'll never be perfect

But will I ever be enough?

Into The Darkness - My Newest Poems

2009-02-09T04:01:00.001+01:00

2009-01-25

INTO THE DARKNESS

I'm not happy

And won't be

Until I hear

A voice in the dark

Calling my name

Breaking the silence

Defrosting my soul

With the heat of her heart

Will you save me from sorrow?

Will you dry all my tears?

Did you save me from drowning

Just to throw me back into the sea?

I don't want to play any games

I just want to hold you now

Kiss every inch of your body

Love away the fear

I will hold you through the years

Give you all you need

Remember every bliss

Forget every tear

My body is still young

But my soul is old and gray

On a black horse

It slowly rides away

Into the darkness

Where it dies

2009-02-01

IF ONLY YOU ARE MINE

Please don't be sad

I need to make you smile

When you think you're not alive

Listen to your heart beat

Listen to mine

Please tell me I'm alive!

I'll give you all you need

As long as every night

You'll be here by my side

And I'll belong to you

If only you are mine

2009-02-05

GARBAGE CAN

You say I'm Heaven

But you treat me like a garbage can

You break me to pieces

And tell me not to be so weak

It's cold where I am!

I just needed something real

Everytime it's in reach

It turns out to be illusion

There's a wall between us

I hoped it had broken

Did you love me once?

It was too good to be true

2009-02-07

NOTHING BUT A DREAM

Shut off my brain

Turn on my heart

Touch me

Love me

Fuck me

Hurt me

Burn me with fire

I need to feel something!

It's cold where I am

I'm freezing to death

You're so cruel

And distant too

You don't need me

I shouldn't need you

You're so insane

And cause so much pain

But I need to hold you

And make the sadness go away

You seem so real

I can almost feel it

The cat hair on your bed

It all seems so real

But you're probably

Nothing but a dream

Love And Hands

2009-02-07T23:28:00.005+01:00

I was out photographing cold wintery Sweden with my father and my hands got so cold and hurt so much. So, I mentioned how I know two people with incredibly beautiful hands and how, sadly enough, I am in love with both of them. He asked if I'm not in love with my best friend and I said no, then I mentioned how I never paid much attention to my best friend's hands.

My father replied "That's probably because you're not in love with him."

Words Are Inadequate

2009-02-01T19:52:00.002+01:00

There are three people in my life that are very very special for me, but it is hard for me to explain feelings with words. Well, I was asked to try and figure out what I really feel for these people and these are pretty much the clearest descriptions I can come up with!

Individual A: I don't know what to say to you. You are so special to me and I am not the same to you. You are so sweet sometimes when I really need it and you have such a fascinating mind. I love how we are completely opposite, yet exactly the same. I think I'll always love you. You know that because of this special thing between you and me... I could never say goodbye. I will always be here if you need me. I mean that. I thought I would always be in love with you. Now I don't know. You've rejected me for so long and now she came along... I don't know what to feel. I feel like on some strange spiritual level, you and me belong together. Through all the time, we always come back to talk to each other. But then maybe that strange spiritual level is the only place we belong together. I really cannot tell. Maybe in this world, in this life, we are too different. Too bad. I would have loved to be yours. I've painfully tried. For more than a year. Will probably never really give up on it, either. You know that I am yours if you ever need a friend, a lover, a girlfriend, a comfort. I desperately wish I could get through that isolation of yours. You have a beautiful mind and a sweet personality, but lots of the time you just lock me out, like you cannot get close. Sometimes you are even cruel. Don't you like me? Or are you just afraid? Sometimes you act like you just want to be alone. Then there are times when you seem desperate for someone to reach out to you and break your isolation. I've tried a long time to be that person. Am I not the right person? Or is the problem only that we live so far apart? Maybe I still am not the right girl, but then again, are you really closer to anybody than you are to me? I never know with you. I don't know what to believe. But I know I will always be in your life. Whether as a friend or a lover. I do love you. I don't think anybody can ever truly take your place. You make me feel like there is something in this world that is more than just being born, eating, sleeping and dying. Maybe you'll end up with someone else and I will too. But you will always be a special part of me, babe.

Individual B: You are my best friend. The one I know I can always count on, always trust.

Individual C: You hide away from everyone and don't let anyone know you, then, out of the blue, you said to me "I want you to know me". We were complete strangers then, but now that I've gotten to know you some, I have seen what a beautiful, sweet, unique and special girl you are. You want me to know you? Such a beautiful girl hides away from the world and then reaches out to me, me of all the people in the world. That must mean I am very lucky. Yes, please, let me know you! You've said such sweet things to me, I don't deserve such praise. And somehow I've managed to help you, comfort you, I know that. I want to keep on helping and comforting you. I am so very lonely... I can't see why somebody would just reach out to me, of all the people in the world. To want me to know you. When no one else gets to. That's special. And you say such horrible things, that you feel so sad. I just want to make it all better, I want to make you feel good. I know I've made you feel good. You said you wanted to kiss me. Wasn't that a good feeling? And everytime I've encouraged you, you do something brave. Don't I make you feel good? So don't hide away from me. You are so shy, sweetheart, hiding away such a beautiful person from the world. At least I get to know you a little bit, maybe more than anyone else knows you, but I would love to know you more. I wish you were here. The distance is confusing. I know you like me, like I like you. I don't want to lose it. But this is not a relationship. Being on each side of the ocean and not even talking to each other all that much, that's not a relationship. But we know the feeling is there. We reached out to each other and we connected. I feel for you. I would never use you. But please relax, don't expect me to make any decisions soon. You know if I said I chose him, you would be broken hearted, if I said I chose you, you would be freaked out that I could decide so quickly that you are my one. I barely know you yet. It's funny how I am so drawn to you, even though we barely know each other yet. When I think of it, one thing that makes you very special is how you reached out to me. You didn't let anybody know you, but you wanted me to know you. I have no idea why. But I must be very very lucky. That you also happen to be unbelievably gorgeous, smart, a talented artist and one of the sweetest people I know, really doesn't hurt! Please don't be so afraid. Don't worry so much, my dear. I made you feel good didn't I? I made you feel beautiful at least a few times? I want to keep on giving you good feelings. Think of any time I made you feel good. I want to keep on making you feel good. Don't worry so much... Don't fear the future! It's too early to make any decisions, but it's never too early to have a feeling. Remember that you cannot scare away love. But you can love away fear. Follow the love, not the fear. Do what you want, instead of focusing on avoiding what you are afraid of. If you avoid things all the time, you cannot do much at all. You can do everything, because you are young and you are wonderful, you just need to gain some courage and remember, I have love for you, because you are just the way you are. I will always be in your life, whether it will be as your lover or as your friend. You know I really think I am falling in love with you. I want to kiss those lips so badly. Those sad gray eyes of yours... It hurts to see them like that. I wish you could smile.

Summary Of January 2009

2009-01-31T16:13:00.000+01:00

The best photos I took this month

The most important news story of the month

Record crowd at Obama's inauguration!

Coolest CRACKED posts of the month

1. I Am A Building

2. 20 Movies In A Minute Flat

3. 8 Racist Words You Use Every Day

Best LOLpics of the month

LOLpics from:

Pundit Kitchen

I Can Has Cheezburger?

You Silly Girl

2009-01-27T15:34:00.003+01:00

I'm falling in love with you, stop being so afraid, you can't scare away love, but you can love away fear <3

My Newest Poems

2009-01-24T11:40:00.003+01:00

2009, January 19

DON'T STAND IN OUR WAY

If there is a god

Don't dare to think he's on your side

You hide behind bibles

And throw out judgments where you go

Get back to Earth

Here, people are starving

People are hurting

And your superstition won't cure it

I've heard there's beauty in the world

Somewhere far away perhaps

And it's hard to reach

So don't stand in my way

See, all we really need is love

In whatever shape or form

So don't stand in our way

Because of what your book says

There are people getting married

Having sons and daughters

And those that only dream

So don't stand in their way

January 22

THE END OF THE FAIRY TALE

Love picks you up

Warms you up

Cools you down

Spins you around

A hurricane will pick you up

And smash you to the ground

A fire will warm you up

And burn you to ashes

The ocean will cool you down

Right before you drown

The merry-go-round will spin you around

Until it makes you sick and dizzy

Love smashes you to the ground

And burns you to ashes

And makes you drown

Until it makes you sick and dizzy

Always read the end of the fairy tale

January 23

BE MY SOLACE

I'm afraid

But not ashamed

I earned my respect

And hope for love

Was I loved once? Am I still?

Be my solace!

Face your fear

January 24

WHO IS THE SUN?

Who is the Sun

But whoever keeps you warm?

Who is the Moon

But whoever protects you while you sleep?

And gently strokes your cheek

Or keeps you up all night

With her warm, soft light

While you burn her memories to ashes

And cover her every flaw

With a fresh kiss

And you make up silly lies

About a world that's in her eyes

And devote your religion

To the beauty of her skin

Just for the joy

Of making her happy again

Funny Websites

2009-01-22T18:55:00.004+01:00

Here are some links to some funny websites - Handpicked by me and listed in random order!

Things Other People Accomplished When They Were Your Age - This depresses me

Institute for Naming Children Humanely - Basically, any name is wrong

The End of the Internet - This is the last page

Weird eBay Auctions - So bizarre

Eric Conveys An Emotion - Everyone likes a sensitive man

Free The Gnomes - They're people too, you know!

Staring Contest - I don't know

White Whine - Stuff white people complain about... Or more specifically, spoiled people I guess

The World's Longest Alphabetical Email Address - Just for the funk of it

404 Research Lab - This is not an error

Bits & Pieces - Stuff

Funny Photos - Read the dang title

HolyJuan - Stuff

Country Stereotypes - Kinda interesting

Lifehacker - Could be useful

What Is Your Mental Age? - Interesting

MotiFake - Some of these are so funny

The Complete Lyrics To The Song That Never Ends - So ridiculously funny

5 Second Films - Finally, movies I can focus on!

The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything - And it's RED!

Everlasting Blört - Stuff

The Chive - Funny pictures

Famousr - Kinda pointless, but what the heck!

The Infinite Cat Project - This is the essence of awesome!

Moronland - Silly

Dumb - Also silly

Chat With God - He's kinda bitchy

Dave's Web Of Lies - In case you get bored with the truth

Tomatoes Are Evil - Join the hate!

Eat Liver - No, it's not a cannibal site, it's really just a collection of general funny photos

Human For Sale - How much are you worth?