One Thing Is Quite Annoying About Parents Who Aren't Fluent In English

It's whenever they hear some English phrase that they're not too familiar with and then in a really cool (read: embarassing) tone they recreate some sentence where they've heard that word.

For example, I once read something that had the word "dang" or if it was on TV, I can't recall and out of the blue my mom starts quoting the movie Napoleon Dynamite.

"Make yourself a dang quesilada!"... "You mean quesadilla?"... "What did I say?"

On another note, God I hate our bathroom! It's so gross and smelly and it makes me sick. I'm not sure if I'm longing to get my own place so I can have my own bathroom or if I'm dreading to get my own place, since I would have to actually clean it by myself!

But then, if I never get it dirty I never have to clean it right? Right? RIGHT? Nope. Can't fool myself. There are bacteria everywhere, I know that 'cause I watch way too many forensic documentaries! I do. Just ask my mom! I could probably name more serial killers than she could name celebrities who bleached their teeth. (And yes I am watching a documentary on serial killers right now)

It Never Stops!

When it comes to not shutting up, I win big time. My dad was going food shopping today and asked me and my mom if we needed anything.

Me: Yes, you have to buy blueberries and raspberries and potato chips and peanuts and fruit purée and 100 % pure chocolate

My mom: See they don't make that, it always has a LITTLE sugar in it

Me: And 100 % licorice and apple juice and orange juice and really expensive

My mom: She's just making things up now

Me: Really expensive fancy mushrooms and all the expensive exotic fruits you can find and a big bouquet of roses in this color *points at the pale orangey pink bow on my panties*

My dad: Anything else?

Me: And a cherry tree for the garden and more rose bushes

My dad: Yes!

Me: And sunflowers, because we don't have any at all and some more dresses for me and a brown dress that is like tight in the top with a big wide skirt and I need more bloomers and more undershirts and kneesocks and really cute aprons and

My mom: It never stops!

My dad: I'll have to make a list!

Me: And a horse for me to ride on and some nice vegan saddles and that and a stable and some little cute kittens for me to play with while I'm not riding the horse and some tiny white African hedgehogs...

My dad: Heh, white African hedgehogs...

Me: And a big nice cage full of canaries for my room

My mom: It never stops!

Me: And a bigger room that I can put in my current room so my room will get bigger so I can fit my canaries in there and a nice big bed, really expensive and big, from the 18th century and some nice old dolls from the 19th century wearing pretty dresses and a bigger TV that covers the whole living room wall and some nice antique sofas for the living room but they have to be comfy and I have to be able to see the TV from them without getting uncomfortable oh and a new camera

My mom: You can talk so long!

Me: The best fanciest most expensive camera there is, it has to be the most expensive you can find

My dad: The price is the most important thing?

Me: Yes. Will you remember all this?

My dad: I'm sure I will