Showing posts with label bad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad. Show all posts

2009-08-07

Now That I'm Feeling Good, I'm Feeling Bad

I used to feel really bad all the time, I was lonely, had lots of mental problems and just generally hated life. Now I feel great, I have an amazing best friend slash boyfriend and my mental problems are really basically gone. But now that I feel good, I also feel kind of bad again and I feel kind of bad about that because I am really feeling good.

When I was feeling bad for real, I really felt bad, but now I really feel good, happy, in love, no mental problems and still I feel bad and I feel bad about that. Now that I'm happy, I still feel somewhat "uncomfortable" a lot of the time, because I keep being really tired, yet restless and really warm, sometimes itchy, back ache, quite bad tourettes, problems sleeping and generally feel like I have a slight cold a lot of the time.

But I feel a bit bad about feeling bad because I'm really feeling good and I don't want to seem spoiled by feeling bad when I feel good because I really know what it's like to really feel bad and I know that there are people in the world who still really feel bad and I don't wanna seem disrespectful.

2008-12-02

For Wana

Me and my best friend Fruppie are worried about a very cute girly called Wana, for she is not in the best mood right now. She's saying bad bad things, like that she is sad and going through bad things and that does not make me happy :( I like to be happy, which is why I'm making this blog entry dedicated to Wana, so she can stop feeling bad.
Here is a poem by me that I made up just now... No, I haven't made it up yet, but I will right now:

--Wana is a sweet girl
She is very sweet
And
She's a sweetie
This is a poem
A very poetic one--

Yay! Wasn't that a super poem? I think it was!
Here is a story that I'm gonna make up right now just for Wana:

Once upon a time there was a kitten. Kitten had a best friend who was a doggie. Kitten go to doggie's home and say "Hello doggie", doggie say "Hello kitten". And so they play and have much fun. Then comes Wana and says "Hello kitten and doggie" and so they say "Hello Wana" and so Wana says "You are mighty cute little animals" and so they say "Thank you sweet Wana, all the animals love you for being so sweet and lovable".

And that's that story! I think it's a mighty good story! Yay!
I am tired and not coming up with anything smart to write, but Wana, you should just know that me and Fruppie really care about you, you are a sweet, adorable girl and you should be careful with your beautiful self!

Here is a photo-manipulation I made of Wana.

2008-10-11

I Don't Eat Enough?

O.K., my parents say I don't eat enough. As you may know, I only eat super-healthy, vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free food and it can't contain anything that might be unhealthy in any kind of way. On top of that I don't eat food that tastes bad. My parents say I don't eat enough, but I think I eat anything that they serve me... Except if something tastes bad.

So, my father "interviewed" me a bit about what I could consider eating and he wrote it down on a writing pad. I copied the list and I've decided to post it here, just for fun. Oh and in case any of your will cook for me in the future, you know what to make me he he he ;) Nah, just kidding, you're not good enough to cook for me :D

Here's what he wrote...

Lasagna
Pizza
Tacos
Pasta with GOOD sauce
Pasta with margarine and boiled vegetables
Mashed potatoes
Tofu is often OK to mashed potatoes
No weird flavors
No onions
No tomatoes
No weird textures
Nothing that STANDS OUT

So, that's the list

Moving on... Hedvig won't have her birthday party tomorrow after all, because she suddenly got sick, but her party will be in a few weeks instead.

Also... Last night, I woke up and fell asleep over and over... Well, it was more like, I went to sleep late at night, then I woke up in the morning and then later, like late on the morning or early day I fell asleep again... But I cannot recall how many "sleep sessions" I had. Anyway... I remember lots of little dreams and parts of dreams I had last night.

One thing I really remember well from the dreams was a strange thing... I had went with my mother to a zoo, to photograph animals and maybe some children playing with animals... So far the dream is very much similar to my reality, ha ha, (I didn't really laugh out loud there) but the thing is... Yeah, I had gotten to the zoo and there were these tiny tiny cows...

And I asked, "So can I photograph any of these little cows with the children?" and some lady working at the zoo went all like "Yeah, but this cow is too shy and that one is angry and bla bla bla bla", so there was really only one cow I could photograph... But then suddenly, a lady and a man and three little extremely formally dressed children grabbed the cow and sat at a table, with the cow as company, they were smiling and looking really happy and stuff.

I looked at them and I said "No offense but... I really didn't come here to photograph some hired actors that are supposed to pose with the cows... What I want to photograph is children and animals playing together, in the natural way, not dressed up and posing at a table... I didn't come all this way to photograph some hired bunch that get paid for being photographed... That's just ridiculous!"

Then the actor-daddy and the actor-mommy and their dressed up little kids left, the parents seemed pretty angry and said something like "OK, forget about it then, we'll just leave!" and then I felt really sad and angry... Like, why couldn't I just photograph some kids playing with animals? Are people too afraid that I'll photograph them or their children that the zoo has to hire actors that can be photographed? Lots of children love to be photographed, it's their parents that are paranoid and think all people that actually like children are pedophiles.

Another thing that I dreamt last night was that I somehow used magic to temporarily turn my cat into a bird. I let her fly free, thinking, if she wants to fly away and never come back, I guess I will just have to accept her choice. She met a boy bird and I was thinking - Hey, maybe they can have bird eggs that baby birds will come out of!

So, she and the boy bird flew away. Then I thought - Oh, no, what have I done? Why did I turn my cat into a bird and let her fly away with some strange boy-bird that I don't know, what if she gets hurt? My house was quickly rushing through the air, so you couldn't really go in or out through the doors.

I heard my cat meowing outside and I pulled the door open, though it was difficult. Then I lift my cat down, she had held on to the door with her claws. The cat was safe at home and I said to her, I'll never let you go, never let you fly away in the dangerous world, never leave you with a stranger, never change you.

After that I woke up... I mean, for real, woke up, stopped dreaming and that... And my kitty was there and I held her and I thought: I'll never change you, I'll never let you out in this world alone, I'll never let anything happen to you, I'll never leave you. My perfect kitty Gloria, of course I'd never let her out in the scary world alone.

2008-06-11

I Have Never Felt This Bad

Yeah, I've felt crap before, but it's never been this bad. The people I love the most sometimes seem to not really need me.