Tatiana

Tatiana, 2003-06-27 - 2007-12-25

Yesterday my mother told me something she heard on the radio. A Swedish artist called Karin Mamma Andersson had told a story of when she and her family went to the San Francisco Zoo. They watched the feeding of a beautiful tiger named Tatiana. She jumped up really high. The man who fed her said she was athletic like a cat and beautiful like a puma.

Anyway, a while later, Karin's son talked to her. The whole day he had had this thing on his mind. How come Tatiana didn't escape? She clearly could have if she wanted to. He saw how high she jumped when she was fed. A time later, the family saw in the news that something had happened at a zoo.

Three men had taunted and provoked a tiger until it jumped out and attacked the men, killing the one who taunted her the most. The tiger was then executed. Her name was Tatiana. I just kept thinking of Tatiana, Tatiana, Tatiana, Tatiana all the time since my mother told me about this yesterday.

When I was home at my computer, I had to Google this and I found some more information on Tatiana. She was born 2003-06-27. The fucking idiots who taunted her were some worthless people who were high on marijuana and yelling and throwing stuff at the tiger. They had criminal records and were hostile with the police and paramedics.

It's not right to kill a beautiful tiger when they've done nothing wrong. She was just defending herself. OK, she was just chillin' in her home and some random drugged up men throw sticks and pine cones at her, yell at her, dangle their feet down the moat wall and annoy the living shit out of her. She goes to attack. I mean what the fuck would you have done in her situation?

Dreams

I have had many pleasant and unpleasant dreams in my days. Many were recurrent. I have had many nightmares about bad things happening to loved ones.

When I started thinking of possibly buying a new pet, when I had three cats, but not the snake yet, I started having nightmares about bad things happening to my future pets.

I would dream that I had fish and snakes and spiders and lizards and they would escape and try to eat each other and I would desperately ask my family to help, but they wouldn't care.

Since I bought the snake I have many times dreamt that my snake was sick, hurt, bit by another animal or escaped. In the dream I desperately plead to my parents for help, but they did nothing.

In real life my parents would do anything to save my pets, if something happened to them. I love my little darlings.

I remember another strange dream I had long ago. It was so strange. I really love children, I love to look after them, they are so lovely!

I dreamt that I was visiting... ...Oh, an orphanage, child hospital or something. In front of me sat a thin little girl, wearing a short dress, she was, oh, maybe three years old, had short curly black hair, black-brown skin and sat and looked kinda shy.

I sat down in front of her smiling at her and I lovingly touched the beautiful young skin on one of her legs, but I noticed it was so dry, that if my nails even slightly touched it, she got white stripes on her skin. That just made me hurt inside.

I looked up at her face and it was hollow, just a skull and skin.

Then I saw another little girl. Maybe she was about two years old. Anyway, this one wasn't so skinny like the other one, no, she was lively and playful. She had long dark brown curly hair and light brown skin and a huge smile on her face.

I played with her lots. Children often drool a bit or spit a bit and she was no exception. I didn't think much of it.

Then a grownup who worked with the children told me that that child was actually very very sick and contagious.

Such a strange dream that was. I still think of it sometimes.

My dreams, ehm, more like nightmares, well, what I dream at night in general, my dreams often contain death, despair, confusion, disappointment and other unpleasant things. I definitely prefer my real life.