My Goals And Stuff

Hiya... I made a blog entry ages ago, listing up my goals and dreams and what the shit not... I thought it needed be updated, so here ya go, version 2010!

1. Most of all I need to find something deep and meaningful that makes all this shit worthwhile.

2. I want to help all my loved ones find happiness and realize their dreams. I am nothing without the people I love.

3. I want to be with SRC, because he's the only person who really understands my mind and shares my interests. Oh who am I kidding? I ruin every relationship.

4. I want to meditate. I need to do it more often and learn to do it properly. I can never seem to relax.

5. I want to practice the occult with SRC. I don't really feel motivated practicing by myself and not comfortable practicing with strangers, but SRC I trust.

6. I need to take care of my health. I easily just forget about that and then my health gets worse. Obviously.

7. I would like to harvest herbs and plants more often. When I was younger I would sometimes, but time just seems to slip away.

8. I would like to learn more about healing. I really like healing, but I believe that this skill will be better used if you study it some.

9. Have fun. My life may not always be meaningful or efficient, but then at least I can do some fun things to pass time.

10. Meet my best friend JSC. She's one of the most loving and loyal people I know and it would be so awesome to get to spend some real life time with her.

11. Help animals get better rights. There are so many animals that need help and all animals need to have stronger rights.

12. Spend more time in nature. I've always loved nature, I just don't have a lot of energy to go out.

13. Get rid of my tics. I have lots of tics of different kinds and they're quite disabling sometimes.

14. I would like to study and practice the occult more. I've always been interested in it, but never really felt motivated.

15. I would like to learn more about tarot. Tarot is quite fascinating, but as everything else in my life, I've just never had the motivation or energy.

16. I would like to get in better shape, so I can be more athletic. I feel so weak and frail right now.

17. Learn to be more independent. I'm actually quite good at taking care of myself, I just don't have the energy, focus and motivation... As with everything in my life.

18. Keep on taking care of my pets. I love them so much and I love to pamper them and make sure they are perfectly happy.

19. Spend lots of time with the children in my life. My cousins OLMKH and MRIKH, as well as a girl named HH. I love them so much.

20. Try to get more energy somehow. I found out that my lack of energy comes from a vitamin D deficiency, so I guess that's the main thing to beat.

21. Eat healthy. I usually have a very healthy diet, but sometimes I loosen it just a little.

22. Try to take care of my bad back. I don't always have the energy to stretch, but I really should.

23. Travel. Sure, why not? Yeah, I don't like to leave the house much, but when I do, I quite like it, I love to photograph different places.

24. Keep in touch with all my friends and loved ones. It happens sometimes that I don't speak to some for quite a while.

25. Try to be more environmentally friendly. I'm already vegan + super healthy, (as in I don't use animal products and I need healthy food) but the environment is important too, not just animals and health!

26. Learn more about herbs and collect them. I've always liked herbs and I believe in their healing powers.

27. Take up karate again. It's quite exhausting, but it's fun and it makes you so much stronger.

28. Keep on practicing contortion. I have always been very flexible, but I don't always keep stretching.

29. I'd like to learn some more wrestling moves. We learned some in karate earlier and I quite do like wrestling.

30. I'd like to make more things from scratch. For examnple, grow my own vegetables, pick them and cook them. I used to be really into that sort of thing.

31. I would like to learn first aid/different kinds of therapies/massage/medical care for animals.

32. I would like to as well learn first aid/therapies and that sort of thing for taking care of children.

33. Try to get enough sunlight. I do take vitamin D in liquid form, but sunlight is a pretty good vitamin source too.

34. I'd like to buy or adopt more pets. At the moment we have our hands full with the cats and snake, but no one knows what the future holds. (It could hold more animals)

35. I want to clean my room. Might not seem like much of a "goal", but my room will always be getting messy and I will always want to keep it... Not so messy. Hence the clean my room goal.

36. I'd like to learn some of those methods for learning autistic children to communicate. I've always been told I'd be great with that.

37. I'd like to do more charity and activism. I'm actually really into that sorta thing, I just... As always... I just don't have the energy.

38. I should try to get enough sleep and at the right time of day. I tend to mess up my rhytm.

39. I should really practice the art of not wasting money. I'm crazy about clothes and jewelry but I really have to learn to shop in moderation!

40. Get my own place! Exclamation point! I've wanted my own apartment for ages, they're just so damn expensive!

41. Spend lots of time on my photography! Another exclamation point! Everyone knows the Signe likes to photograph.

42. Also, model. No, I don't wanna be airbrushed and in a magazine. I like to model for myself or people I know, in different kinds of photos, expressing myself or portraying a theme.

43. I'd like to dance again. As a child I took classes in Hip Hop-Funk, Classic Ballet, Jazz-Show Dance and Show Dance. Also we got to learn some classic ballroom dances and folk dances in gym class.

44. I wanna keep feeding wild birds! I feel really connected to wild birdies somehow and well they don't seem to mind eating out of my hands!

45. I wanna always look perfect! I really like looking my best and wearing my best clothes, I just kinda let it go sometimes, because I'm too depressed or tired to bother.

46. I want to keep making various kinds of art. Of course I've already mentioned photography, but I like other methods as well.

47. I'd like to get a proper education. There was a lot of changing schools and being mentally ill when I was a teen, so I never finished high school, but I'm not dumb.

48. I'd like to get a good job in childcare. Or maybe work with the mentally handicapped. Or with animals. (Or mentally handicapped animal children?)

49. I would like to keep on writing. I write poems sometimes as well as short stories. I also like just writing stuff... Like this list!

50. I would like to learn more self-defense. In general. I know quite much karate and some wrestling already.

51. I would like to learn another language. I'm fluent in Swedish and English and I keep partially studying other languages now and then.

52. I would like to grow my own food. I do sometimes. Like vegetables, fruit, potatoes, spices and that sorta thing. And our Summer garden is always full of fruit and berries!

53. I would like to sew clothes. I have only sewn clothes for school when I was younger, but it would be nice to do it again.

54. I should read more about animal care. I love caring for my animals, but it is always good to read some more about how to take care of your animals as well as possible!

55. I want to somehow make sure everyone knows what "Doctor" Anette Johansson did to me. She's going down.

56. Always keep on buying pretty things! You always need more things! OK, I'll shop in MODERATION.

57. Always keep my room and surroundings nicely decorated. I know, I covered cleaning my room, but the furniture and art is important too!

58. Play around some with science, as well as of course, reading about it. I do have a microscope and some other fun things.

59. Keep on drawing. I know I covered photography, modeling and general art, but I think drawing deserves a mention!

60. Keep on designing clothes. Maybe I'll sew some of them. Either way I like drawing clothes.

61. Keep on singing and practice singing better. I'm basically a compulsive singer and somehow the more I sing (!) the better I get!

62. Throw out stuff I don't need. Yeah, it's important to get new nice things, but it's also important to get rid of all the old shit you don't need.

63. Manage my internet accounts. OK, that's not an "important" thing, but then, I do sort a lot of things by uploading them online or listing them on my websites, so yeah, it's pretty handy. (Hard to explain)

64. I wanna learn braille. Becaaause. I don't know. Blind people use it. And. Well. It's cool to learn stuff. (Hope I never go blind)

65. Learn to play an instrument. I played a bit of piano (or actually organ and keyboard, never really an actual piano) when I was younger. And I can play a mouth harp OK. (As in slightly)

66. Try to keep my things in order. I covered that already? No I covered CLEANING my room and having it nicely DECORATED. Difference.

67. Try to manage all them lists and projects and stuff that I work on at the puterator. Such as this list/project.

68. Learn to shoot a handgun. That's on my list for some reason. Yeah, I guess it's the whole "I can defend myself" thing that I like.

69. Keep on reading about and studying interesting and fascinating things! I sure do love... Various interesting subjects. Yup.

70. Keep learning Swedish Sign Language. Why is that down here when braille is way up there? Probably because I added braille to the list much later, when I wanted to study both braille and sign language more than I did earlier. Or something. Lists aren't always perfect. I can redo the list later maybe, but it's more or less right as it is right now. (I listed up the things before I wrote these details and that. It took me some months because I'm slow or something.)

Beloved Things

Of course, what is most important to me is my little cousins, my cats, snake and my friends, but I also have some objects that I value very much. Not because I am vain, but because these things are special to me, they are things that I wouldn't want to lose. So, here is the list of some of my very favorite objects!

1. I have a list of all the internet communities I am a member at and what my member names are. That list is very important, because I'd be so fucking confused and angry if I would have to try and count and think and remember everything and write it all down again.

2. All the stories and important things I have written on paper or printed out to save forever.I try to avoid storing things on my harddrive too much, in case it crashes or gets a virus or something. The important things I print. Besides, storing too much can make your puter slow.

3. The doll that my grandma made for me. It is made in fabric and is supposed to look like me as a child. I really liked my grandmother and I like this doll she made for me. So pretty it is! I love it. My grandmother was nice. Her name was Elsie. I don't like my grandfather though.

4. My brilliantine pendant. It is in white gold with a brilliantine diamond on it. Of course, I do not wear it much these days, it is so tiny and also I am kinda more into gold and garnets, but I have always liked it very much and I love diamonds, because they are such a pure material.

5. I love stuffed animals. My favorite is a stuffed tarantula named Hjördis. She looks like a Mexican Redknee tarantula or in other words: A smithi. She is quite realistic, although a bit bigger than tarantulas usually are in reality. I bought it during my last time in the clinic.

6. Another stuffed animal. Anka-banka. A very cute stuffed duck I got when I was very very young. Perhaps when I was born... ...Possibly when I was baptised. I don't remember what I was told. Anyway. Anka is Swedish for Duck and Banka rhymes with Anka.

7. Yet another stuffed animal. Fizzio. Fizzio is a tiny stuffed panda I got from a second hand shop long ago. It is an unusually beautiful toy and I have always liked it very much. It looks so old-fashioned and well-made. Fizzio doesn't mean anything that I know, just something I made up.

8. Another stuffed animal. Rivig. Rivig is a big huge stuffed kitty that is really cute and adorable. I wanted it for so long when I was little and then finally I got it one day and I was so happy. It sleeps in my bed next to me every night. It looks very cute and happy.

9. My akua'ba. An akua'ba is a symbolic object that is meant to be treated as your own child. It is very cute and it is easy to get affection for it and even if you are not so into the cutesie stuff, you could still tell it is a nice piece of art. It is in wood and painted black.

10. My Guatemalan mask. It is tiny and red and looks like some kind of animal. It is very beautiful. When I saw it I could tell it very much suits my personality. It is handpainted in a beautiful pattern and it has big white fangs. It looks like some kind of either feline or canine predator, but might be something else.

11. Stuffed animal: Fante. A cute stuffed elephant. It is in a glossy fabric with nice colors. It is from India and it was sold in a store in Sweden when I was a child and I got much affection for it. It is so lovely, it looks hand sewn, I just hope it isn't like child labour or something, I think that store are pretty picky not to buy child labour things, but maybe they don't always know.

12. Stuffed animal: Pig. I don't know if I really have a name for this one, anyway, it is a cute little handmade pig doll in an old fashioned style. I always loved it very much as a child and I guess I sorta have an even deeper love for it now, it is just so beautiful.

13. Black gloss top with the zipper all the way down. From Phaze Clothing. I just love it and it is so so ME, it is pure simple intense, just black gloss with a zipper, it is so very much my style and well it is difficult to find clothes that are just perfect for my style.

14. My black gloss pants from Phaze Clothing.

15. Black under-bust corset from Dark Star. It is lovely and it has nice buckles on it and I think it goes well to pretty much anything. It is difficult to find nice underbust corsets, especially when you are as thin as I am. Lots of corsets are so big or plain ugly.

16. My black gown from Lip Service. It looks sort of 18th century-ish. I love it very much, my mother bought it for my nineteenth birthday and I have worn it several times, I don't need any special doggone occasions, if I think the dress is pretty, I will wear the dress!

17. My black sleeveless gown. It is in a lace-like material and my mother says it looks like a gothic wedding gown. It is very lovely and I like it very much. I love black clothes and it is difficult to find nice dresses. It is difficult to find nice clothes at all.

18. My black gloss skirt that is covered in black flowery lace. It is from Phaze Clothing and it is so absolutely lovely. Ooh I love clothes, I really do!

19. Red gloss skirt.

20. Black lace skirt.

21. Black gloss skirt.

22. My black skirt that is tight on the top part and assymetric and not tight on the bottom part.

23. Black and gold Venetian eye mask.

24. Gold and garnet necklace - It really belongs to my mother, but she doesn't wear it.

25. My dagger earrings.

26. African neck collar.

27. My buddhist rosaries.

28. My lovely African earrings.

29. My red lace choker.

30. My really big necklace.

31. My black and purple top.

32. My lovely underwear! I love panties, bras, socks... ...So pretty!

33. My silver spider/web ring.

34. My silver and onyx spider pendant.

35. All my pretty gem stones and crystals I have.

36. My very broken red Chinese jacket.

37. My spider/web T-shirt.

38. Plastic pigs. One summer when we were on vacation I saw these cute plastic piggies in a second hand store. It is really a one-piece object, not several separate piggies. It is one pig lying down and her babies sucking her nipples for milk. When I went home from the vacation, my mother and sister stayed a bit longer and when they came back my mother had bought the piggies for me! I didn't buy them, though I got very attached to them and by the time my mother got me them, I had almost forgotten about them, but I was happy I finally had them!

39. My huge conifer cones I found in Greece.

40. Black cat statue.

41. My leopard figurine. Once when me and my father - Recently - Where in a toy store, checking out toys for fun - I do have tiny cousins, maybe you can find good presents - We looked at the animal figurines and I asked my father which of the animals was ME and he picked the right one and then he bought it for me.

42. My Lenore figurine.

43. My tiny spider earrings in silver.

44. My less tiny spider earrings in silver.

45. My fibulae.

46. Red jaspis pendant.

47. Quartz pendant.

48. My red and black bag.

49. My big Indian earrings.

50. My less big Indian earrings.

51. All my tiaras.

52. My spider web cape.

53. My Edward Gorey books.

54. My Lenore book.

55. My fan with a handpainted flower on. I got it when I was a child, from the woman who painted it, I believe.

56. My Buddha.

57. My stuffed animal Mnemosyne - She's a rattle snake!

58. My stuffed spider Hedvig.

59. My stuffed bat Agnes.

60. My stuffed frog Signe.

61. My stuffed lion Arne.

62. Drawings I've made and ones I've gotten as gifts.

63. The photo and information about the child I sponsor. I guess if I lost it I could always call and try to figure it out by my personal ID or something, but it would be best to hold on to those things, I am quite fond of that girl.

New blog!

Actually, I originally signed up on Blogger to be able to post on the GoogleSheep blog with my best friends, but then I thought, I might as well start my new blog here - I haven't had a good place to blog lately. So, I've already told you this much - I'm Signe and I like to say "pook".

Anyway, before I introduce myself any further, I'd like to post this one important thing. A girl I chat with named Jade started a list to support gay people and she sent it to me. It is not an official petition, just something she made to make people feel more confident and accepted. So please copy this, put your name on it and spread it out!

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Love doesn't recognize gender! If you are - Or want to support - Gay, bi or lesbian people, please put your name on the list below and pass it on - Let's see how much support we can get!

1. Carla Jade Thomas 

2. Signe Linnea Ursula Robertson

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4.

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Thank you.

Anyway, so my name is Signe and I like to say Pook! I spend my free time sitting at my computer, listening to music, decorating my oh so gorgeous body and dancing like a freak. My ehm occupation is working with kids with Down's Syndrome. Well, I'm actually just an apprentice, but it's what I do!

Two windflowers I photographed

I have a very intense personality. Very passionate, emotional and might seem sorta "scary" to some people, but I am harmless. If people provoke me - Abuse me, insult me, spam me, libel me - I might get a bit violent, use nasty language, spit on people, break stuff. Yeah, it's not nice behavior, but I'm just saying, being treated wrong pisses me off!

I photographed Järvafältet at twilight

I am a very loving person, I especially deeply love my friends, my cats, snake and little cousins and in general I am loving towards people, unless they are just jerks. I am a peaceful person, I do not like arguments, insults, violence or fights, it makes my neurological and mental health a bit unstable.

I saw strange huge yellow flowers on Järvafältet

I really love music and illustrated stories. Music I prefer includes Timbuktu, Peps Persson, Diamanda Galás, Neil Young, Phil Collins, Leftöver Crack, Hocico, The Locust and Gnarls Barkley. Then there is plenty of more music that I love! I also really like weird gothic little poems and stories with illustrations. Roman Dirge and Edward Gorey are among my favorite artists when it comes to that sort of art.

I was watching the May fire with my little cousins, two days ago

I love clothes, jewelry, makeup, accessories and stuff, but I am not shallow or vain, I simply really like showing off my inside on my outside, so to speak. Showing my intense personality in what I wear, showing my violent spirit in the jewelry I choose. I have lots and lots of exquisite clothes and jewelry.

This is me

I really love animals. I have three cats named Silver-Gloria Lockheart, Tifa Guld Lockheart and Yuffie Silver Kisaragi. My snake is named Quetzalcoatl Arne. My cat Gloria is like a daughter to me, she is extremely protective and possessive of me and I love her so so much. My snake is tiny and I am always worried about him, I would be so sad if something would happen to him and I get paranoid fears about something happening to someone I love.

I found a big toad that I looked at a while and I decided to name her Hjördis Hedvig

I am really a very deep and serious individual, but do not worry, I have a sense of humor, also, I love cuteness. I am in general a quite gothic and dark personality, liking gothic art and having been through plenty of hard times, but I also love everything that's cute - Cats, babies, cute drawings, spiders and everything else that's cute!

My lions in my bed